juz-a-kid10

2005-08-12T18:37:00.000-07:00

WHERE DID IT ALL GO WRONG??

i sacrificed everything for the sake

of you guys.

and dis is wad i get??

hais.

i dunno wad to say.

her: you gt no right to control us.

(shall not mention her name.)

MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnn..

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THT HURTS?!!?

my blood pressure bloomed.

my head pounded

all i could think of was running away

from there.

i wanted to cry

(somehow)

i WAS hungry too

(still)

i was hurt .

(inside and out)

i really gone SPEECHLESS

wen she said tht.

i thought i was dreaming or smth

den suddenly i felt

tears dripping from my eyes -

i was FORCING myself to push

back the tears

so they wont see me crying .

pathetic of me.

i noe.

well who cares anyway?

den they started talking to me.

"sorry." "thankyew" was all i heard.

i couldnt look at them

cos wen i did,

suddenly theres voices in my head

talking to me,

telling me all the negative stuff

about me.

tht usually happens

wen im depressed like this.

and wen THT happens,

i tell you, theres NVR one time

i didnt end up crying

i was too hopeless.

all i did was nod

I'm all messed up la!

Going nowhere fast but circles in my mind

TELL ME,

DO I HAVE TO FEEL LEFT OUT ALL THE TIME?!!

do i have to WAVE HELLO and

jump around like a maniac to make you guys

REALISE im STILL there??

I cant go on like this

living like im dead

I havent slept so long

Feeling sad I dread

I'm talking to myself again.

i guess wen im gone,

not ONE person will notice it.

WADDA HECK HAPPEN TO B AND my GF??!

i thought u all luv me?

but anyway,

big thanks to mama who

happens to be online now.

i let out my anger at her..

she didnt mind at all.

man.. i love her! (:

and AMIRA.

thanks for asking me to cool down..

i love you la!

ahahhas.

HAIIIII...

*sigh*

i feel sooooo dead!

rotttttttttttENN alreadi la

CAN SOMEONE JUST COME TO ME

AND HUG ME pleaseeee?

i really need one now.

serious.

okayyyyyy.

enough la

gtg now

buhbyeee

-- tell me all this waiting is worth it.

-- im dying for a place in your heart.
im still hoping tht i'll be with you somehow.

2005-08-10T19:07:00.000-07:00

I WANNA ANNOUNCE THT :

ANGELFIRE SUCKS BIG FUGLY TIME!!!!!!

I TOTALLY HATE ANGELFIRE.

hate. hate. hate!!!!!!

.
bleahs ~

.
YOU SEE -

i was trying to find a way to put

a song for my blog.

so i asked jayne, haris

almost EVERYBODY la.

.
I SOUNDED DESPERATE.

i noe.

i WAS desperate for a song.

ahahah

.
anyway,

.
both gave different sites.

i tried the one jayne asked me to go..

but i dunno.

everytime i clicked on smth,

theres dis stupid pop-ups

thingy kept popping out.

it was getting on my nerves.

.
it didnt work anyway. ):

but jayne kinda save my life

and helped me to find the memory-sugarcult

code.

BUT AS YOU NOE..

THT SONG STILL BRING BACK ALOT OF MEMORIES!

i'll start crying everytime i hear tht

song again.

its just sad you noe? =(

.
so back to the story,

i went to the site haris

asked me to go.

i was so excited tht i sign up

for tht stupid thing alreadi.

den he kinda guild me how to upload

the songs and all.

.
problem is -

I CANT FIND THE FREAKING CODE FOR THE SONG.

.
den wen the time i needed him MOST,

there he was,

away . away. away.

(not tht i mind anyway)

.
so i got no other choice but

to learn how to find the code MYSELF.
wif no one guilding me -

no one to tell me where to go next

and all.

i wasnt familiar to tht site AT ALL

so i clicked the HELP thing.

and read the whole thing

patiently.

.
blah blah blah ..

reads reads reads.

tick tock tick tock.

there i go, wastin my time.

.
after all those reading,

ALL I GOT WAS how to put images!

they nvr say ANYTHING about putting a

song at ur blog.

damn mad can?!

believe me -i was.

.
so let out my anger at him

and he end up

teaching me again.

lols

.
I GOT IT .

I SWEAR I GOT IT!

so i did wad he instructed me to do.

REPUBLISHED -

checked out the blog if the song's

working...

and guess wad?!?!!

.
ITS NOT!!!!!!!!

he said wrong html.

where did it go wrong??!!

i did exactly wad he taught me wad

.
haisssss..

i guess its just my blog's fate

not to have a song in it.

.
i pity my darling blog. =(

.
OHHHHHHH.

who can be a kind soul and teach

me science???

I BEG YOU. =(

anyone. anyone. anyoneeeee.

pleaseeeee!

.
okayy. gtg now..

buhbyee!

maybe you wont noe,

tht since the day you said you love me,

da stars on my sky started to shine

2005-08-09T23:50:00.000-07:00

its 11+ so i still have time to wish everybody

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY.

aft watching tht national day

parade thingy,

im actually PROUD to call

myself a singaporean.

ahahhas

watever.

CAN SOMEONE PLS TELL THT

JONATHAN NG TO SHUT UP?!!

PLS?

stop threatening me!!

stop telling me wad i should do

and wad i should

try to forget.

i dont like MEANS i dont like!

this is MY life.

no place for you to take part in it

its not tht easy to

move on you noe.

and once again i REMIND you -

im NOT your gf!

stop calling me dear alreadi! >:-(

gawd.

im too confused

to think of anything rite now.

its like im stuck in

de middle of a road and i dunno

which path to take

next. -

i need help.

i need somebody to be

right here right now,

walking thru this shattered

journey wif me.

i need you.

dont you get it?!

which part of me still loving you

dont you understand?

*sigh*

anyway,

dad(fake one) suddenly turns so caring.

i dont really noe him anymore.

i wont give up

yea. im a good gurl.

i noe you're gonna say tht!

ahahs! =D

anyway, thx for everything.

im really tired rite now.
these pumps are
sweaty.
knees weak. back hurts.
hands are heavy.
and i need a break.
nite. (:

-- You painted my life with so much love
then when i thought i had it all,
You left me,
leaving it undone.

can you come back and finish it for me?
my life suddenly feels so empty
without you.

2005-08-08T00:41:00.000-07:00

are you ready kids?
aye aye captain!
I CANT HEAR YOU!!
AYE AYE CAPTAIN!!!

MADE.

- Say no EVIL. -

- See no EVIL. -

- Hear no EVIL. -

i wasted my time drawing this. heee.

ahahhahas. cuteeeee. =D

angels brought you here.

TODAE.

mama woke me up
just in time for
school todae.
and silly me,
i was too tired to get up.
den mama said,
"if u dont wanna get up, i wont wake you up anymore."
and so -

i did didnt get up.
my body just felt so heavy suddenly.
HAAH.
so?
i end up woke up late.
told B im not going.
sorryyy. ;(

haissss.
reality's a bore.
i got nth to do
aiya. aiya.

oh.
just finished chatting
with zx.
and as always,
we end up fighting again.
dis time,
it was different.
we were using headlines.
imma freak.
he's pathetic.
lools. =x

MY GF LOVES ME AND NOT YOU.
FULLSTOP. okay? okay.
ahahahs!

suddenly,
i have the urge of hearing someone
singing tong hua for me.

Yu xiang said he's gonna sing to me
on monday
which is, todae.
but sadly, i didnt turn up. ;(

SO NO TONG HUA SONG.
i dunno WHY and how did i fall for
chinese songs in de
first place.

heeeees. xD

I DESPERATELY NEED A TRANSLATOR!
no volunteer yet?
okay. fine.
i'll be waiting.
ahahhas.

oh watever.

im not asking for painted memories.
i only wanna know you're here.

If i wasnt such a fool,
right now i'd be holding you.

im not sad cos i loved you. im sad cos i lost you.

2005-08-07T23:18:00.000-07:00

im sooooooo

tiredd!!

gawd. help me.

i need a serious massage!

my back hurts!

my thumb both's in pain.

If only my fingers could talk,

you can hear them

crying in pain.

REALLY.

*sigh*

besides which,

i was so tired last night

but could barely

shut my eyes

still. slept.

but got up at 3.

dragged the guitar into the bathroom

(most soundproof place in the house)

and started writing

a new song.

too soon to tell if its any good.

anyway,

i should say this.

this week is a killer!

i feel like im here

and not here at the same time.

everybody's talking bout break-ups

then wondering if their

decision were right

the next.

it makes me feel like there's no place to

put my feet down.

like im up in the air watching my own life.

know wad i mean?

life sucks when you had too

much to think about.

too many stuff to deal with -

too many problems

to solve.

yes.

there's nth here for me

its all the same!

how worse can it get

wen your emotions stick out

all over?

even my own cat is giving me

those silent killers!

talking bout cats,

scruffy has been working on her weight

problem.

i dunno wassup.

but nowadays, she refused to eat

her own food.

u noe, whiskers and all?

yea. she dowan to eat tht now.

she wanna eat real meat.

fish. a fresh one somemore.

weird la she.

OH WELL!

sometimes i just dont

understand her. (:

oh yea!

anybody got TONG HUA lyrics?

care to translate?

PLEASE!

be a kind soul.

thankyew (:

oh oh.

one more thing

SAMUEL.

he's gone!

no more mr gayman.

sadddddd

you're missed.

dont worry.

wahahahahhahahhas

yea. dis is especially dedicated to

my section leader,

GAYMAN. =D

honoured annot?

ahahhas!

alritee.

gtg to sleep now.

tml got another performance!

*Sigh*

i dunno why i miss you so much.

yet i dunno why

i still feel your touch.

you left me feeling high and dry

with nothing but a

question why.

--MY LOVE FOR YOU IS

DEEP AND MEANINGLESS.

2005-08-05T22:02:00.000-07:00

tht LEMON TREE song is blardy
on my nerves!
Zi xiang's fault laa.
he kept singing tht song!
and unluckily,
he happens to be my partner.
haiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
.
lessons were okayy.
MT TEST WAS EASY LA.
make me panic for
no reason.
basket.
.
.
ANNA CHAN NEVER CAME.
my dad misses her!
awwwww..
.
YEA RITE!
nobody misses her la.
everybody were busy wasting time..
ahahhas..
.
.
after sch,
discussed wif class
bout the concert thingy.
went for band late.
FUAD came back! and shahril.
played wif fuad .
ACT BIG LA HE!
reallie u noe?
jia min was irritating me,
telling me to stay away from him
cos his socks stinks i think.
for all i noe,
my nose's block
so i cant smell a thing.
so i continued talking to him.
.
OH WELL. hee hee.
went home after tht.
.
.
.
i ANTI all those ppl
who burn papers under the block.
freaking heartless creatures man.
cant u SEE there's
ppl living here?
CAN U STOP BURNING PAPERS?!!!
ITS DAMN POLLUTING THE AIR.
No wonder ppl nowadays
have asthma!
I WANNA COMPLAINNNNNN.
but i cant.
- sigh.
call me racistt for all i care.
dis is bullshit!
yes. it is.
arghhhhhhhh!!
.
.
okay. i'll end here.
alrite? alrite.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I MISS YOU SINGING ME TO SLEEP. =(

2005-08-04T21:40:00.000-07:00

MY SICKNESS IS BACK!!!!
i hunt for tissues AGAIN.
i cough till there's tears in my eyes AGAIN.
yea. hell yea im going thru
those SUFFERINGS again.
sickening life i had.
.
- sigh.
.
.
my life STINKS!
homeworks.
project work.
sch events.
CCA.
TOO OCCUPIED WIF ALL DIS SHIT around me.
tml is gonna be 'ONE DAY IN HELL' . -
pathetic friday.
tml schedule -
SOCIAL STUDIES test.
chapter 2.
and guess wad???
i hAVENT BUY THE BOOK!
LUCKY me , dont cha think?
.
- sigh.
.
MT test RIGHT after ss test.
and cikgu didnt even tell
us wad is the test all about..
how to study, tell me?
.
- HEAVY sigh.
.
and tml's the dateline for
social studies project!
heng, our grp finished it TODAE.
just in time! =D
YEAAA. heng heng.
.
and 4 more days
to the stupid concert tht
our class hafta perform.
not really looking forward to it actually.
but oh well. -
.
band practise aft tht.
and my gf's not going!!
arghhhhh.
and sunday,
yet another concertt.
BUT OH YEA,
im not going.
i'll be in hollywood by then. ;D
hee hee.
.
.
OH! and my right hand sux now.
scratches here and there.
one at the middle finger.
i put a plaster over it and gawd, it
look so pathetic,
i'd say. =(
and one near my thumb.
paper cut.
very very very painful!
yes.
.
.
alrite..
gtg rest now.
byeee!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
sometimes i wonder wad
it looks like thru someone else's
eyes.
Sometimes i wonder why you
never seem to care.
and still,
i sit around and wonder
WHY do i still love you.

2005-08-01T22:18:00.000-07:00

early morning -
waited for vena at de usual
place.
sigh. sat down. walked around.
read book. tied my hair. sigh again.
and guess wad??
she didnt COME!!
dammmit.
i wasted my time WAITING for
her and she didnt arrive at all.
damn her!
made me wait for so long!
grrrr.
i WAS ALMOST LATE K?!
>:-(
ahahahh
.
history was okay.
.
mt was
fine.
.
recess
was hilarious!
.
english was great.
.
i could barely keep my eyes OPEN
during maths!
.
science was,
(first time) FUN!
sat behind wif jayne and fitri.
I GOT A BAND.
well.. not exactly my band arh..
it was ebbys band.
ebby . Jayne . Brandon . Yasin .
and im de PRODUCER!
without me, u guys couldnt even
RECORD an album kk??
better appreciate me.
wahahhahs.
.
ebby: Mr lim, wad is 69 arh? (act blur)
Mr lim: 69 is a position.
Wen you grow up, you will noe wad is it.
.
and den he threw tht cheeky smile
at us.
i didnt noe he can be pervert
too.
OH GAWD! =SSSSSS
.
assembly was..
hmmm.. interesting. =D
first part of it
sux though
i mean. ppl were SWEATING
and de freaking fans were
so not working cos i didnt
feel one bit of it!
not forgetting tht grandma
story made by no other than
tht benedict KEH.
urghhhh.
de rest was okay i guess.
de scs dancing part
was funny
YET entertaining. (:
i didnt stop smiling.
god noes why.
thts the effect it got on me.
hee hee. xD
.
band
PATHETIC LAAAA. =(
fadli didnt come!
Johnston didnt come!
Fuad didnt come!
all thts left were the gurls
and samuel.
and dey expect US to do
all their parts?!
we played coppa
and u see,
tht song got dis part
where only the percussionist play.
kinda like our solo part la
and usually wen tht part comes,
de percussion section
will go NUTS and play all kind of
instruments lying there. -
I MISS THOSE TIMES MAN.
and just now,
we played it. just the
four of us.
- sigh.
dissapointing.
pathetic.
samuel somehow
tried to keep the section
ALIVE. but...
it didnt work.
sad. =(
.
oh!
i cant come for SATURDAY practise
neither can i perform
on sunday.
im going to HOLLYWOOD!!
=D
nah! the reason.
a good one okay?
.
.
.
.
.
.
You should've called me when you
were lonely and needed me
to be there. Sadly,
You never gave me too many chances
to show you how much
i care. -

2005-07-30T22:15:00.000-07:00

i was so pissed yesterdae
tht wen i woke up todae,
my mind went totally blank!
.
i forgot wad day is it todae.
i forgot wad is on todae.
.
furthermore,
i forgot wad i planned to do TODAE!
.
i woke up early
just to take a freaking bath. -.-
.
i remember crying.
i was so sad yet
hurting inside.
.
i dunno wad just happened.
i feel so much insulted!
HE WAS MAKING FUN OF ME.
how can i remain calm?!
okayy. i admit
i was such a jackass for a gf.
BUT ITS BEEN MONTHS SINCE WE BROKE UP.
cant he just forgive me?!
man..
i was mad like hell!
.
stop telling me stuff!
i dont wanna listen!
it alreadi hurt me enuf!
enough okayy?!
.
DAMN.
it spoilt my mood for the whole day!
.
but thanks to fadli.
he kinda cheers me up.
wif his songs and all..
fadli sent me new songs anyway.
SMILE EMPTY SOUL totally rocks.
no kidding!
.
he keep me updated everyday.
=D
how nice.
.
we were exchanging songs.
he sent me one smile empty soul song
and i sent him
err..
breathing-yellowcard.
den he sent me another one
and another one.
until he even sent me his band's song.
SAnity blur.
ahahahahhas.
NICEEEE.
i like the vocalist voice.
he's 17.
abit too old la. =x
.
we were talking bout facts.
like stupid trends nowadays
meaning of WHITE SPECS,
emo gays
we spent most of the time
talking bout emo ppl
den we both admitted
we dowan to be emos.
ahahhas
FREAKY!!!!!!!
reallie. no kidding.
.
oh
had a talk wif my gf on the phone.
she was giving me advices
and all.
really really HELPS!
furthermore,
todae is our anniversary/
damn happy!
but couldnt celebrate.
sad.
hee hee.
i <3 color="#000000">.
.
alriteee.
gtg now..
.
.
.
.
If I could change i would
Take back the pain i would
Retrace every wrong move
that I made
i would.
If I could stand up
and take the blame i would
If I could take all the shame to the grave
I would.

2005-07-29T21:30:00.000-07:00

How do you look cheerful
when you're crying inside?
.
How do you act interested in friend's conversations
when all you can think about is wad
he said to you?
.
How do you keep your mind on
whiteboard and tml's homework when tml
seems about as bleak and colourless as tml
ever seemed?
.
how in de world can you move on
wen all you felt was guilt?
.
.
oh oh.
THAT BODOH GURL IRRITATES ME.
wahahhas.
can still say im dumb wen its stated
CLEAR tht she's the bodoh one.
ahahahahs.
I HATE HER. (vena)
and i hate my gf too!
SHE TOOK MY PRETTY RED
HEART-SHAPED WATCH!
and i got her wallet
in ex-change. -.-

.
nyways,
tml is OUR 1st month anniversary!
me and herrrr.
tml tml tml tml tml tml.
MUST STAY STRONG K?!
i luv u noe.
cannot dissappoint me arhhh.
hee hee.
.
just now in mt,
i CONFESSED,i LUV HER.
ahahahahhas.
oh yea.
talking bout mt,
mt todae was fun!
sat beside sally.
wrote crap in de paper.
but we were laughing non-stop!
it was sooo funny.
ahahahs.
.
ENGLISH AND HISTORY
fineeee.
wonder y i put them together?
cos it was taught by the same
teacher.
ahahahs.
MRS GAN.
i luv herr cos she let me go toilet just now!
how nicee.
ahahahs.
.
MATHS.
read book!
WHO AM I WITHOUT HIM?'"
i luv the book man.
i cant stop reading it once i have tht book
in my hand.
hee hee.
thts just me.
u gotta get use to tht.
wahahhas.
.
EXTRA PERIOD
BODOH sat beside me.
she speaks bodoh language
and i dont understand.
ahahahas.
SO HARD TO COMMUNICATE CAN?
wahahahahs.
guys went for prayers. (i bet they dont pray anyway =x)
catholics went for their class.
WE stayed in class.
and ROT together.
- sigh.
.
ohhhhhhhh.
i wanna play MONONOKE.
i wantttttt.
i do i do i do.
and ONE MOMENT IN TIME.
pleaseeeee.
ahahahs.
okay. bye.
.
.
.
.
A year ago,
we met.
and i thought i alreadi found Mr right.
At that time,
everything was going wrong.
But you made everything seems alright.
So now i wonder where you are.
.
i thought you were the one.
But i was wrong
cos you alreadi left.
.
.
.
Im NOT THE GURL YOUR HEART IS MISSING,
I KNOW.

2005-07-28T18:09:00.000-07:00

1.Do you own a monkey, if not, do you want to?

++ NO WAY. ahahhas

.
2. Do you pick your nose when you are alone?

++ mcm tahu jerrr.. hee hee - blush

.
3. Do you find yourself singing in the shower?

++ yea? hee hee. -blush again. =D

.
4. Do you even shower?

++ like duh!

.
5. What color is your hair, is it your original color?

++ black, dyed

.
6. Did you cry when your first goldfish died?

++ YEA. i was 7! wad do u expect?! ahahas

.
7. How often do you eat hotdogs?

++ err.. VERY often. ahahas

.
8. Have you ever pushed on a door when it said pull?

++ YEA. i nvr read all those signs and usually

end up

embarrassing myself. ahaha

.
9. Who do u love most beside your family?

++ all?

.
10. pink or orange?

++ errrppss.. ORANGE! =D

11. what colour shirt are you wearing now?

++ white

.
12. biggest regret in your life?

++ breaking up wif him

.
13. books or mags?

++ both?

.
14. what are you doing now?

++ chatting,

listening to smile empty soul- silhouettes

at de same time. (:

.
16. australia, korea or japan?

++ australia.

.
17. blue or red?

++ blue.

.
18. handphone or computer?

++ BOTH! ahahas

.
19. what time is it now?

++ 5.50pm
20. you like school?

++ its alright. i dont loath it neither do i love it.

21. you like holidays?

++ i think so. but not when boredom comes rushing in.

.
22. age?

++ 14

23. studying in

++ aes.

.
**Who was the last person you**
24. Talked to on the phone?

++BODOH BUDDY (vena)

.
25. Watched TV with?

++ family

.
26. Ate with?

++ my lil gang. (:

.
29. Took a walk with?

++mama!

30. Went to the movies with?

++ him, jayne, clarice, hadi, his sis. (thts all rite)

WHOA. tht was SO LONG AGO! =s

.
31. Threw something at?

++ fitri. threw my water bottle at her. =x

.
32. Talked to?

++ jayne

.
33. Studied with?

++ zi xiang?

.
34. Went shopping with?

++ family

.
35. Played video games with?

++ vena, sally, wahida.

36. Kissed?

++ him

.
37. Said I love you to?++

SAHIDA! =D

.
38. Wrote a letter to?

++ sahida, simon, rasx and zi xiang.

conference during maths period! =x

.
39. Sent an email to?

++ long lost fren. (dan)

.
40. Sent an sms to?

++ sis

.
41. Smiled at?

++ see hui (the twin!)

.
**Who was the last person to**
42. Throw something at you?

++ fitri. she threw the water bottle back at me. ahahas!

.
43. Hit you?

++ brandon! >:-(

44. Talk to you?

++ fadli

.
45. Say I love you to you?

++ sahida!

.
46. Wrote a letter to you?

++ *sahida, simon, rasx, zi xiang.

.
47. Sent you an sms?

++ sis

.
48. Sent an e-mail to you?

++ mum.

49. Smile at you?

++ vena! de dump dump buddy!

.
**What word(s) that described them

.
50. McD?

IM LOVING IT. ahahas

++ 51. TV?++

thing to let out my anger at. i can shout at it

and it wont mind. ahahahas!

.
52. Trip?

++ Disneyland! dont ask y. ahahhas

-- I never thought i'll be the one BREAKING DOWN

2005-07-27T16:53:00.000-07:00

yesterdae
was hell.
today was no better.
.
my coughing state is getting
from bad to worst.
.
Just now proves
im not getting better.
.
coughing here and there
non-stop till i felt tears dripping
from my eyes.
.
felt like dying cause
i was gasping for oxygen.
.
seriously talking. -
.
dis coughing is making me sick!!
man..
i cant even eat anything spicy.
.
how bad can it get?!
basket.
.
my emotions changed drastically.
just like temperatures.
.
it's surprising how a second can change your whole life.
once you're just happy and
for another second,
you're just moody.
- sigh.
.
here we are.
STILL and forever will remain strangers.
.
i still kept the memories.
both good and bad.
mostly bad ones
cos i tried to forget the good ones.
i would cherished them always and
they will always be honoured deep in my heart.
.
everytime i think back of all de times
he'd been there for me,
it makes me cry.
it got dis effect tht can makes
me weak inside.
seriously, it did.
.
he pulled me from those tortures.
i owe him one.
.
many things had happened with just a blink.
i need you in my life.
but i dont see a need in that.
i've been missing you
terribly ever since you left.
but, i dont see the worth of me missing you.
you were everything to me.
but, it was just for a minute
I've lost everything.
I've lost you.
I've lost the love i thought will remain forever.
.
" let him go. learn a lesson. move on."
will it hurt to say i cant move on?
.
i kept reminding myself,
dont be a coward and run away from reality.
.
This is me.
This problem is part of my life.
and whether i like it annot,
i gotta go thru it.
i gotta learn how to handle it.
.
its all for my own good
i guess.
.
But just one last cry
before i leave it all behind.
i gotta put him outta my mind.
i bet he alreadi move on
anyway.
.
as your gurlfren,
i've been very unfair to you.
you gave me your heart
but i end up
breaking it.
.
Now as a stranger,
i will repent.
.
ending this entry.
.
chao.
sayonara.
goodbye (:
.
.
.
.
.
- Still, i sit here all alone wishing all dis feeling was gone.

2005-07-26T16:04:00.000-07:00

kkies.
lets start from the beginning.
morning,
it was freaking raining la
i brought the umbrella.
BUT
i didnt bring a jacket.
and dammitt,
it was freezing cold in de bus.
basket.
.
MT
nasir was noisy la.
he was pissing me off
by placing his txtbook
on my chair.
HE KePT PUTTING IT THERE LAAA.
and more bad
thing was,
HE TOOK MY WALLET.
he didnt JUST took my wallet,
he even checked wads inside!
>:-(
.
MUSIC
i <3 music period!
totally looking forward for the next lesson!
ahahahas!
DE BLACK SURDO IS MINE!
im in luv wif ittt.
i'll start drooling everytime
i see itt. =D
loooooooools!
okay. okay. okay.
.
RECESS
jonathan was saying i was his gf?
like err.. since wen?!
whose idea it was?
i dont remember saying yes.
i know i didnt!
urghhh
chaos.

DNT
i hate tht mr yong
he seriously seriously sux.
thts all i can say.
ahahah
PERIOD.
lols!
.
SCIENCE
wentta lab room.
noisy classmates cant cooperate.
therefore,
we were dismissed late!
sharks.
.
went home STRAIGHT after thtt.
me and vena didnt talk in de bus.
didnt even make EYE CONTACT
i was mad at her.
so yea.
.
after a while,
i realised my attitude was dump.
i dunno y
recently, i got mad easily.
u piss me off ABIT,
i'll stay mad at you until
someone SUCEED to cheer me up.
ahahahas.
sorry.
didnt mean to get mad at you
just now.
sorry sorry.
ahahas.
.
alriteeee..
i wanna watch Kal Ho Naa Ho now .
lols!!
okaaaayyy. byee.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
my fucking tears just meant NOTHING to you.

2005-07-24T18:42:00.000-07:00

I just luuuuuvv to embarrase her!!!!
SEXY VENA OI!!
looooooooooooooooooooooooolss.
=D

2005-07-23T18:25:00.000-07:00

fights are so...........

ugly.

i surrendered myself

only cos i dont wanna make things any worst.

but does tht mean

he can step all over my head?

does tht mean he can take advantage of me?

does tht mean i hafta cry everytime

i see him?

moreover,

is there a NEED to cry?

physically and mentally

im sick

i keep coughing

ABIT too often.

every 3 mins,

ill cough.

let out a very terrible and

unsatisfied one.

andden,

ill cough again and again.

i cant take it.

everything seems so

hectic lately.

i feel less secure at times.

i dunno why.

i dunno wads going on.

can i just die right now?

sometimes i wonder --

why must i be here

wen i only cry

and let out my tears?

why must i even exist

if i all i do

is trouble other ppl?

why am i created

just to be swallowed?

i agree. dis time

im a burden to everybody!

2005-07-22T20:18:00.000-07:00

i dont think you'd care.
Apparently, i was right.

2005-07-20T14:15:00.000-07:00

weak. numb.
and everything negative occurs my mind.
overall? sucks.
.
.
I DETEST GETTING SICK!
my nose turns red like a cl0wn's nose.
i get tired easily.
i dont have de strength to do lots of things.
i cant control my emotions!
.
.
.
S0 MUCH FOR BEING SICK!
urghhhhh

2005-07-18T21:25:00.000-07:00

heyhey!
im in a good mood. i dunno WHY
but i NOE im happy. ahah
alrite alriteee.
.

early morning.
bad luck. LATE!
ahahahs!
i like my buddy.
i dunno why i like her.
but i NOE i like her.
ahhahas.
.

ermmmms...
HISTORY .
did testt.
bored. as always.
ahahahs! =x
did last minute revision for mt
since theres test later.
.

MT
ANOTHER testt!
whoa.
i was SOO confident i was gonna
pass dis paper. chicken ahhhh.
SKALI wen i took out my pen and ready to write,
EVERYTHING inside my mind went
toooooooooooooooooooooooootttttt.
BLANK!
yes! blankkkkkkkkkk
but i managed to remember some
after some time.
=D
.

ENGLISH
me and zi xiang were talking about de goldfinger songs.
andden suddenly he started singing .
and me? i sang along wif him.
like uh-huh!
lols!
it was fun though.
ahahahaahahs
i noe wad u guys are thinking!!
its not OUR fault tht it was raining just now ok??
it was ALREADY raining wen we started singing.
ahahhas!
so not fault.
.
MATHS
eating section!
AHAHHAS.
everyone was eating k?
lols!
ate hello panda . chicken wrap . and tht wheel thingy.
ahahAHAS!
by de time i finished all,
anna chan was still lecturing.
-.-"
ohhhhh wellllll..
wasnt listening.
so no big deal.
ahahahs!!
.
SCIENCE
lalalalas.
compose a song for vena.
it was a depressing song.
cos thts wad im going thru rite now?
DEPRESSION.
but oh well.
it looks more like a POEM to me though.
ahahahs!
VENA, GO WRITE DE SONG IN UR BLOG!
ahahhahahahas!!
kidding kidding .
.
BAND
me and johnston were talking bout quiting .
ahahhahahas
played chopsticks again.
he won laaaaa.
TYCO! =P
.
ANNOUCEMENT : PERCUSSION SECTION IS SOooo FALLING APART !
sad case.
i dont likeeeee
='(
.
oh ya.
i STILL got de scar.
dont worry.
its still here.
as long as its still here,
ill always remember you.
wen its gone?
maybe ill still remember you.
MAYBE. maybe not
heeees.
=D
.
.
YESTERDAE :
i alreadi swear ill update about yesterdae. ahahas.
so i HAVE to do dis. ahaHS!
bear wif me please.
.
.
suppose to meet rasx and johan at 4pm .
reached there around 4.10
rushed to bb mrt to meet them
and it SO happened tht they havent reach yet
and i thought I was late! -.-
Johan reached 5 mins after me
so it wasnt tht bad la .
he told me rasx was STILL at woodlands.
can still watch movie somemore!
grrrrr ..
ahahahaHAHS.
funny arhh.
.
so walked around
westmall wif him.
took pics here and there
while waiting for the V.I.Ps(mira and rasx) .
lols!
.
.
5+, mira and rasx arrived.
finallyyyyyyy! (:
took taxi to Botanics garden .
watched 5 bands
performed.
sat on Johan's flower2 mat.
Marsilling sec won once again.
they're REALLY good man!
so jealous.
hurrmppps
.
so so
ate at dis Prata shop.
we ordered :
ras :
mutton smth and bandung.
mira :
Cheese prata and Milo dinasour.
johan :
mee goreng merah(i think so), soup kambing and milo dinasour.
me :
chicken chop and longan spin.
.
waited soooooo long for the food ok??
they said the food will arrive in
20 mins.
but we waited MORE than 20 mins sia .
mira got her food last
and de prata was so pathetic!
so small can??
pity her.
tsk tsk.
den todae, she was sick.
wah mira! next time we dont eat there kk? (:
ahahhas!
.
while eating, johan started talking bout cars .
ahahas!
den every car
we find it nice,
ras will go, "tu driver aku la."
in eng, "thts my driver la. "
den i will go, "driver kau, kereta aku. "
in eng, "ur driver but my car. "
den mira will start saying it was her car la
but i stole it and all.
ahahs!
crap laaaaa.
but i was enjoying every minute.
ahhahahs!
.
.
alriteeeee.
will put the pics we took later.
okok?
done.
see ya!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

i lived a life and

dreamed a dream

and loved the life

you lived with me

then in the whisper

of a breath

you left,

and then I died

a death .

2005-07-16T23:30:00.000-07:00

i invented dis for a purpose.

slooooowwww down pls.

and ANOTHER one.

honda logo.

ON THE WAY HOME...

beginners! Vrooooomm!

The bus we took to go home.

DING DONG!

tap first before you go pls. ahahhas

Scooter gurl own dis thing! AHAHAS!! =X

slippers i wear ta walk around de house. hee heees. =D

DONE! ahahahs.

okayy. done wif de piccies. ahahhas. gonna meet Johan and ras later. so gtg now.

OKAY. BYE.

ahaha

2005-07-16T23:10:00.000-07:00

insides of de sexy car.

reflection.

Nissan logo.

woohooo! BMW! MY CARRR!! I invented dis. thankyew. heehes.

WHOA. de famous logo!

2005-07-16T23:03:00.000-07:00

welcome!

traffic light poll. ahahahas

homework first. ahah

10. 10. 10.

CARPARK floor.

2005-07-16T22:40:00.000-07:00

Jayne: sayang.
.
Everytime
i see your face,
everytime u look
my way .
its like it all fall
into place
everything feels right.
.
eversince you
walked away,
u left my life in disarray.
all i want is one more day.
its all i need
Just one more day wif you.
.
heeeees.
.
Sally: gurlfren.
.
I promise i wont let you down.
If you take my hand tonite.
i promise we'll be just fine
dis time.
If u take my hand tonite.
.
yea.
pretty obvious im playing timer.
.
bleahhhhs.
ahaha
.
I ADMIT OK?!!
see? im being honest.
UNLIKE SOMEBODY!
ahahas.
.
nyways,
stayed at home for the wholeeee day.
bored to death.
but im still here.
so guess im still alive. -.-"
.
ahahhas. alrite.
thts lame.
.
anyhos,
tasha accompanied me to nanna's house.
mama was sick.
seriously sick.
and nanna alreadi cooked food for us.
so i looked at her face,
she looked so ill.
so pale.
dis woman.
de woman who took good care of me
wen i was ill.
so now its MY turn to take care of her.
rite?
.
so. i was de one who took de food
and brought it home.
she felt better after tht.
great to see mama smile again. (:
.
sis invited me to dis gig tml.
ahahhas
cant waittttttttt.
.
but i alreadi promised johan ill go to de
botanical garden to see de gold bands
perform.
.
AND UNLUCKILY, BOTH STARTS AT 5!
.
HOWWWWWWWWWWW?!!!
die die.
.
someone decide for me pls.
and i SWEAR
i'll be nice.
.
ahahahas.
.
oh yea,
chat wif mira and rasx just nw.
talked about the relationship problems thingy
again.
funnnnnnn.
its not reallie THT fun la
cos we only chat.
no laughing.
no nothing.
.
its just us, gurls letting out wad we felt
towards guys.
ahahhas.
.
such an interesting topic .
i like.
ahahaHAHas.
.
OH YAAAA.
tasha made up another crappy sub.
but it was (indeed) crappy.
so i layan her la.
.
have u ever wonder wad its like wen english
words are translate to malay?
.
ahahhas.
give u some examples.
.
.
WARNING!
its really stupid.
just read on if u want.
.
.
oh baby
i miss you
i do.
.
oh bayi.
aku rindukan mu.
aku buat.
.
baby baby i swear to you.
i'll be here for you.
anytime u want me to.
I'll be true.
Just for you.
Dont leave me lonely cos
i need you.
.
Bayi bayi aku sumpah pada mu.
aku akan di sini
untuk kau
biler2 mase kau nak aku untuk. (huh?)
aku akan betul.
Kecuali untuk mu.
jangan tinggal aku keseorangan kerana
aku perlukan mu.
.
names of bands:
YELLOWCARD : Kad kuning.
Blue: BiRU.
The used: The pakai.
Simple plan: Rancangan yg mudah
Red hot chilli pepper: Merah lada hitam pedas.
Gold finger: Jari emas.
3 doors down: tiga pintu kebawah.
.
ahaahHAS
.
alriteeeee.
thts all.
will find out more soon.
buhbyeeeee!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
dots.

I dont mean to

drag it all.

i just cant seem to let you go.

2005-07-15T22:22:00.000-07:00

i dont like the fact tht u're telling almost
EVERYBODY about us.

one day,
dis gurl came up to me,
told me he was making fun of me.

den another gurl told me the SAME thing.
andden ANOTHER gurl...
and so on...

WADDA HELL IS GOING ON MAN?
anybody?

dammits.
dammits.
dammitttttttttts.

2005-07-14T18:48:00.000-07:00

let me repeatt smth first before i go -

I WONT FIGHT WIF WAHIDA OVER HIM.
nonoNO!

but she was not telling the truth.
the rumours she made about me and all
all dis just lead me to anger man.
WHOA. so FURIOUSLY MAD.
>:(

so if u;re reading dis,
want u to noe tht
we used to be so close last time.
just wad separate us apart?
wad happened to u ?!
wad happened to me?
u noe very well u've changed.
u told sally i called her a flirtt.
u spread rumours about me and ebby
TOGETHER?!

aint tht a bit TOO much??

dont ask me wad u did wrong.
dont act like as if u noe nth.
dont try to pretend everything;s fine.
cos i noe.
deep inside
who u really are!

its not tht im on his side.
gawd.
u noe i never hate u.
dislike. yes.
Hate. no

all de things u did to me
really made me lose my trust in u.
but i can
i can forgive u and give u a chance
one last time.

Goodbye doesnt mean its the end. (:

i think u're fine.

u really blow my mind.

2005-07-13T18:48:00.000-07:00

WHOA.

im so sick of my life la.

everythings the same!

its like.

every day i will -

wake up .

take 947 .

meet buddy and take 176/178.

assembly.

lessons.

school ends.

go home/go out wif frens/band.

just WEN is my life gonna end??

erghhs.

anyhos,

i dont feel like talking about my day at sch todae.

most probably cos i alreadi forgot about everything?

yea.
ahahaha

dont even bother to remember.

ahahs.

oh yea.

i only remember ONE THING.

de fact tht jayne could go to gc concert.

and i cant.

DAMMITS!

suxs BIG TIME can?

and she kept talking about it.

saying how much she enjoyed it.

making me more jealous.

wah sehhh.

makes me wanna cry man.

jayne,

WO HEN NI la.

lols!

oh yes yes.

cik sal(sally), cik nur(vena), cik fit(fitri) and me

made up a new name.

from superhero gang to

APER SAJA.co

everything yang kiter tak faham,

just fahamkan jer la.

ahahahhah

lame.

but i likeeee.

ehees.

i will still remain as mojo-diahs.

can?

i dowan to be cik diah.

wtf?

so not nice. =x

ahahh.

fitri should be cik ULAS la.

fit her TOTALLY!

ahahahahhHAHHAS.

nyways,

went out wif mardiana itit nurvena after sch.

to mallwest.

ahahahhas

ate KFC.

all we did was laugh and laugh non-stop.

we laugh at almost EVERYTHING.

like for every 10 secs,

we WILL laugh.

we can just look at each other

and end up laughing.

lols?

call us weird.

we're just being us.

OH YES YES.

heeeeee

oh yea.

we climbed the MOUNT EVEREST just now!

ahahahahs

tired rite?

who ask u not to bring enuf water?

hais.

but at least we did it la hor?

rite rite?

ahahaHHAhas.

must remember where we placed our flag ok?

SINGAPURA is very proud of us now.

hee hee.

oh yea oh yea.

changed the sitting arrangement.

kinda like my seat.

IM IN CHARGE OF THE SECOND AND THIRD WINDOWS NOW.

YEAAAA.

MORE FRESH AIR.

niceeeeee.

ahahahahs

mr chan is not gonna sit wif me anymore.

teacher put him in de middle.

sucked.

no more laugh2.

no more punch2.

no more playing wif markers.

no more comic books.

no more cristisizing his dearie ex-wife.

AND my mum. (anna chan)

but worst for someone,

NO MORE EVIDENCE!

NO MORE. NO MORE.

sad :(

Zi xiang's gonna replace brandon's seat.

ermmm..

most probably he'll sleep and sleep throughout

the lessons.

which is so not fun.

AT ALL! =(

either tht or he'll talk and talk

non-stop throughout the day.

which is NOT fun too.

hais.

sway.

maybe everything will turn out fun.

i'll never know.

maybe. JUST maybe.

ahahahhas

but i like the fact tht i got buddy and my gf(cik sal)

as my neighbours STILL.

ahahahha

and controlling two windows other than one

is pretty fun too.

to me.

hee hee.

so i wont be THAT lonely afterall.

heh heh.

good.

im beginning to enjoy being single.

free always.

ahahha

oh yes yes.

lols

Qs. asked by ppl who added me in msn

but i dont even noe them and they're asking qs. like theyre my LONG LOST FREN or smth

but here's de answers anyways. -

-yawnsssssssssss.

can i forget him?

No.

Am i still in love wif him?

maybe.

Do u wanna be wif him again?

no. cos its not gonna happen.

finding someone to replace him?

Nah. not now.

Wad about he-who-shall-not-be-name?

(hehhh. sorrie. wanna find out who. ask me.)

no. dont like him. NEVER.

who is dis gurl u hate?

cant tell. sorrie.

do u think he still love u? (haha?)

nope.

wads wrong wif ur nicks? why u sound so depressed?

ermmm. i dunno? haha

how did u fall in love wif him?

started with friendship. ahahhas.

ppl is asking me stupid qs. nowadays.

uh-huh. dey are.

seriously, its stupid.

can i NOT answer de rest?

ahahha

i alreadi answered some rite?

ahahahha

must be happy alreadi arh.

lols!

OH YEAAAa.

I SIMPLY SIMPLY SIMPLY HATE CHAIN LETTERS.

they're so THREATENING!

true or not?

heck, i dunno.

so whoever who's THINKING of sending chain letters

to me,

PLEASE dont!

cos it will scare the hell out of me.

thankyew.

ahahahas

just a little infos.

heh hehh..

alrite alrite.

i'll go now.

buhbyeeeee!

cant wait for next tues.

ahahs :D

i'm falling so deep for you.

cos its over you i'm crawling.

2005-07-12T16:41:00.000-07:00

weeehaaaas.

lessons todae were ok-ok la.
ahahhas.

first period was PE,
ran 2.4 km
didnt run wif sally
cos eversince
i've been falling down lately,
i fear of running on slippery roads now.
it sucked!

i mean.
i never have dis kinda fear
before until recently.
so ran wif buddy instead.
i didnt run.
i jogged.
watched my every step so
i wont fall down.

yea.
buddy took good care of me la (:
"run properly arh. later fall down again."
ahahhahas.
quite insulting actually
but oh well.

den den.
MUSIC.
MUSIC PERIOD WAS SUPER FUN!
Mr rizal is gonna teach us
how to play the percussion instruments.
which i pretty much noe. xD
HAha.

i realised.
bald head guy is kinda cute actually.
yea.
strange.
i never like bald head guys.
they're so eeeww.
i thought.
ahhahas.

weird.
strange.
so not me.

recess
laughed non-stop.
i cant remember
wad we laughed about.
i only remember laughing.
heh heh.

de moment ;

she stared.
i stared back.
she stared again.
i stared back again.
and she walked away.

wassup wif her man??
not happy,
just say arhhh.

find smth else to stare at pls.
stare here.
stare there.
like wanna kill me liddatt.
erghhh

den DNT.
stupid MR yong didnt come.
so stayed in classroom for
2 pathetic hours.
bleahhhhhs

saw de gurls played dis
animal hand tapping thingy game.
lols?
i dunno la.
got worm. rabbit. chimpazee. duck.
cats. crocodile. kangaroo. turtle. dolphin
all involved.
ahahahas.

still, i dont quite get the game.
so i didnt play.
ahaha

slept for 7 loooong minutes
and DING DONG!
ready for de next period.

Science,
MISS SIN(however to spell her name) SUXS!
her face arhhhh.
.alamakS.
feel like smacking her la.
"You shall be my slave."
her words to ebby.
wad does she think dis is?
Fairytale land issit?

she makes lame jokes
and laugh at it herself.

she laughs
wen no ones laughing.

shes one weird woman i'd say.
ahahahha

den sch ends.
weehaaaas!
ahahha
how lame. -.-"
anyhos,
at the bustop,
i realised i left my wallet in class.
holy arse.
how can i even forgot about my wallet?
wah seh.
just WISH i didnt misplace it anywhere.
amin.

ahahahha
kkies.
done for todae.
buhbyeee.

P.S=
JAYNEEEEEE!! im super jealous of u la! ahahhaha.
PLS remember to take pics of them kkies?
THANKYEW!! <3 u! ahahahhahah

Sally: I LUV U TOO KIES? fair? dont jealous k? u jealous, i oso jealous u noe? ahahahs. =D

Buddy: deep down inside, u noe u luv me laaaaa. ADMIT IT! ahahahhas

alrite.
see ya!

im strong enough for loneliness.

but i'm too weak to

handle the pain.

u never noe.

I dont think u even bother to noe.

2005-07-11T22:45:00.000-07:00

Still counting the days
i've been without you.

1, 2, 3, 4...

Still counting the days
that you've been gone.

Day one,
was no fun.

Day two,
i hated you.

By day three
i wish you'd come right back to me.

Day four, five and six,
well i guess you just don't give a shit.

Day seven,
this is hell.

I gotta get away, and find something to do.
But everything i hear,
everything i see,
reminds me of you.

thousand things i wanna say to you
but its too late now. -

2005-07-10T22:40:00.000-07:00

its been such a
looooooooong time
since i went to idobi.com .

i missed aLOT man
a whole lott.

watched some the used videos
andden HUNT for matchbook romance
songs.

thts wad i did for the whole day?
yea.
quite pathetic really.

anyhos,
im addicted to tht
matchbook romance- Tiger Lilly
fadli sent to me

i never fail to play tht song
every 10 mins.

ahahahas.

he sent me alot of
good2 songs nowadays.
(:

songs i'm SO into now-

Matchbook romance- Tiger lilly (fadli intro)
i dont wanna make things any worst.

Bowling for soup- The bitch song. (Jayne intro)
you're a bitch but i love you anyway.

Good charlotte- S.O.S ( sis intro)
i sent a S.O.S tonite. i wonder if i will survive.

Halifax- Sydney (he intro)
[de guitar part ROXS can?]
if i could be anything, i would be medication for you.

Green day- Give me novacaine (found out myself)
Give me a long kiss goodnight and everything will be alright.

the used- Bullimic. (fadli intro)
Goodbye to you.

Sugarcult- Memory (he intro)
Can i be your memory?

Chemical romance- I'm not ok. (fadli intro)
I'm not fucking okay.

Mariah carrey- Thank god i found you (sally intro ;D)
Cos baby i'm so thankful i found you.

Yellowcard- Breathing (sis intro)
i can feel you breathing and its keeping me awake.

...... - Someones watching over me. (jayne intro)
(she-who-shall-not-be-name) =P
I found myself and ran away.

YEAAA.
thats it!

if u notice,
all de songs i listen to
are all the songs tht are
introED by ppl.

haha.

kkies.
getting crappier every single day.
ahahahhas.

oh yea .
9/7/05.
the date i found myself a TWIN! (:
ahahahhas.
so good to have a twin.
i like . i like .
ahahHAHS.

alriteee.
gtg.

SEE YA!

No matter how far I go

No matter how much this hurts

I wanted you to know,

My heart remains with you.

2005-07-09T23:41:00.000-07:00

surong papan
tarik papan

buah keranjis
dalam parahu.

suroh makan
saya makan

suroh mengaji
saya tak tahu.

my sis is bugging me wif dis
stupid poem.

i dont even noe wads de story of it.
i mean.
wads the point?
anybody?

damn.
its getting on my nerves.

anyhos,
had family meeting just now.
after ages of having one.

kinda fun.
whole family was making fun of me.
like wtf?
ahahhAS.

they reminded me
wen i was around 5+,

whole family were at the airport
sending my grandparents to..
ermmm.. forgot to where.
lols

den den
i remember how i use to
walk around the airport
ALONE
and cried HORRIBLY
cos i was lost.

haha

and slept on de carpet.
the red2 ones.
and pretend de carpet was my bed.
ahAHS.

funnyy.

i remember alot of memories nowadays.
happy memories.
sad memories.
both.
memories i dont remember
suddenly flash back into
my mind.
dunno wassup.
dying soon i guess?
-sighs.

anyways,
mama made new rules.
sucked.
i dont like.
seriously dont like.
but gotta bare wif it.
sad.
haissss.

u mourn the death of ur

bloody valentine.

2005-07-09T12:58:00.000-07:00

guess wad?
guess WAD??
GUESS WAD???

MY YOUNGER SIS KNEW HOW TO
PLAY GOOD CHARLOTTE's We believe
guitar part.
the chords and all.

WHOA.
proud man.
i mean shes only 9 and she knew how to play
ahahHHAS.

Proud proud.
yes hun.
PROUD.
firstt time eh?
ahahS.

well,
todae
bored.
rotting at home.
did nth but layanING my sis.
but its kinda fun afterall.
de guitar is her darling now.
ahahahhas.
cute.

oh OH.
someone intro me to dis halifax band.
nice nice nice.
still, de singer sound like the used's singer.
ahahahhas.
sexy too.
just not husky enough.
ahahas.
and he gave me tht bullimic song too.
like FINALLY i got de song!
yes yes.

THANKYEW to u again! (:

i WANT MORE MATCHBOOK ROMANCE SONGS!
arghs.

and mama,
i KNOW u're reading dis.
PLEASE BUY ME THE MINT+ chocolate chips
on de way home.
PLEASEEEEE!

I DESPERATELY WANT IT LAAAAA.
cravings.
can die u noe?
lols!
thankyew.

oh yea.
have u ever wonder y
cats grow so fast?
ahahas.
scruffy is kinda big now lar.
i kinda think back
on those times wen she first entered
my life.

she was so small.
so cute.
i remembered milking her
with her little milky hello kitty bottle.
and wen she used to run to me
everytime she saw me coming.
purr here and there. (:
she nvr fail to put a smile on ma face.

and wen i was talking
either wif someone
or on de phone,
she just love to interfere.
meows non-stop.

haha

point is,
im scared i'll lose her
one day.
i noe i will.
im just not ready for de time to come.
sad case.
reallie sad case.
haiisss.

another stupid entry.
have u ever see a person
talk about their cat?
haha.

crap.

alrite alrite.
gonna have tuition soon.

see YA!

2005-07-08T19:51:00.000-07:00

johnston and i played chop sticks just now
while mr goh was busy scolding ppl.

haha

OHHH WELLLLLL.

oh yea,
i fell down again todae.
home's staircase dis time.
i was TOO tired!
i dunno why i was so weak
den suddenly..
KABABOOM!
i slipped and fell.
and it hit my injured knee again!!
dammits!
de wounds are just beginning
to heal.
and den it happened again.
arghhhhh!!
PAINFUL!!
=(
guess i need more than two plasters.
-sigh.

oh oh oh.
sally, rasx,
u're not the only
victims of ebby's sexuality.
haiisss.
damn ebby!
one goddamn heartless freaking jerk.
reallie u noe?

i was eating nips just now in class.
(Oops! =x)
fitri was beside me.
he was sitting infront of fitri.
and den he saw me eating i guess.
den he said he want Nip(TOOT)
and den i hafta sacrifice my nips
cos he was threatening me.

and den it didnt stop there laaaaa.
some of de chocolates fell on my lap.
and den he saw it.
and den he......
.arghhhh!!
i dowan to talk about it.
but good thing was,
i was wearing skirt.
so he dunno exactly where THE it is.
ahahahhas.

try to understand la.
too fed-up to explain.

oh yea.
WONDER-VENA didnt come to sch todae.
arghhhhhhhh.
gang was quiet without her.
yes titi.
VERY quiet!
i noe u're touched la.
ahahhahas.

no laugh + no joke = NO FUN!
ahahhahas.
true true.

i realised.
its no use loving someone
who dont love u back.
jonathan told me tht.
and guess hes right.

good one. =)

grandma said i look pale.
grandpa said i'm getting skinnier.
grandma start asking me about
my health.

i said i'm ok.
just fine

yea rite.
-sigh.

i noe my sayang loves me!
rite rite?
U NOE YOU LOVE ME LAAAA.
ahahhas.
dont hide from the truth, jayne.
HAhoHEE.

alrite.
i'm talking crap.
shall stop dis.

see ya!

2005-07-07T20:41:00.000-07:00

i saw you again.
and again and again.

anyhos,
i luv the matchbook romance singer's voice!
so so so SUPERR SEXY!
he got tht husky husky voice.
makes me melt inside.
WHOA.

fadli intro me to dis band.
i asked for tht bullimic song,
he gave me dis matchbook romance song instead.
-.-
but oh well.
its nice.

THANKYEWWWWWW.

farah is getting rude man.
wad is wrong wif her?
aiyaaaa.
sec 1 nowadays.

-sigh.

lols!

2005-07-07T18:51:00.000-07:00

28/2/05
the date.

26/5/2005
the break.

29/5/2005
friends again.

4/6/05
the patch.

10/6/05
the final break-up.

12/6/05
the nasty fight.

3/7/2005
another cruel fight.

5/7/05.
OVER.
silence forever.-

-sigh.

Vomit, shred, flush. Vomit, shred, flush.

THAT MEMORY-SUGARCULT SONG
SERIOUSLY MAKES ME CRYYYYY.

sadddd.
MEMORIES.
hais.

story of my lonely life.

okok.
back to reality!
ahahhas!

oh yea,
theres dis story
jonathan made up for me.
reallie crappy.
but its funny la.

u noe theres dis song called
Who needs the world
by nick carter.
it goes smth like,

who needs the world
when i got you.
switch off the sun,
the stars and
the moon
i've had all i need inside
dis room.
who needs the world when i got you.

so nyways,
theres dis couple together.
its their 1st anniversary la
so tht guy
brought her somewhere
tremendously ROMANTIC la.

den he took his guitar and
sang dis Who needs the world song
to dis gurl.
den after he finish singing,
he look at the gurl,
and asked,
"wad do u think baby?"

de gurl smile and said
"i think i need the world.
i mean how can u SURVIVE without de world man?!
honestly, it suxs."

and
tht guy dump her the very next day.
ahahahhas.
wad a story.

yes.
welcome to DUMPSVILLE.
ahaHAHAs.

oh oh.
went out wif superhero gang todae!
to pathetic plaza.
-yawns.

and i bought one box of pretty pretty plasters
for my knee.
its SO NICE LA.
reallieeee.
no kidding.
hee hee.

anyhos,
lessons were fine.
not-ok got.
ok-ok also got.
ahahahas.

DNT was FUNNY.
as always.
ahahas
SEXY VINCENT DIDNT SMILE
NOR SAID HELLO BACK WEN
I WAVED HELLO AT HER.
sharks.
how rude.
evil monster.
erghhh.

PE:
ran road relay wif my road relay partner.
ahahahahs!
WE MISS THE ROAD SO MUCH la.
ran ALL the way to the carpark ehk?
lols!
i oso dunno la.
didnt stop running in the middle.

whoa.
first time eh?
kekekekes.

oh.
last period was science.
lesson was boring
so i slept.
and brandon beat my thigh
1235776854333 times!
YES!
i counted.
lols! like real.

whoa.
bored.
i still want STRAWBERRIES!
arghhhhh.
i want strawberries PLUS hersheys chocolate PLUS mint.
ahahahs!

-screams, JUMPS, RUUUUNNNN.

2005-07-06T09:16:00.000-07:00

i dont wanna make things any worst.

HEYHEYHEY!
guess wad??

I saw two spiders having
sexual intercourse
just now in class!
ask brandon.
he saw it too.

AHAHAS.
its sooo cuteee!
de way they did it.
lols! =x

its just so cute lar.
heeeeee.

2005-07-04T19:15:00.000-07:00

www.mychemicalromance.com

check out dis site.
theres de, I'm not okay(i promise) video.
WHOA.
its really a not-ok video.
ahahhas.
check it out den u noe wad i mean.
HAHAhAhaha.

outdated.
i noe.
bleahs.
watever.

i'm not fucking ok lar.

anyhos,
i like gerald way's hair
niceeee.
ahahas.
silky black!
yessssssss
AWESOME.
-thumbs up! (:

suddenly,
just SUDDENLY,
i'm cravings for strawberries.
aHAhahahs!
weird.

just WHERE IS EVERYBODY?!!
arghhhh.
depressing.

Feel ma chemical romance for you. (:

2005-07-04T10:38:00.000-07:00

i wanna say smth.

GHOST OF YOU and I'M NOT OK
totally totally RAWKS!
both by chemical romance. xD

i kept playing those two songs larrrr.
ahahahs!

sis and me just lurveeee tht ghost of you song
den she played de song inside her room.
and i conquer the whole HALL!
and yes
my younger sis got mad lar.
she wanna watch kids central,
cannot lar.
cos the music is too loud.
muahahas.

and mama dont like tht song oso.
kakakkas.
orang sebelah irritated nyer.
ahahhas..

but u gotta listen to it!
yes. u guys should!
lols!

nyways,
anione got Bullimic by the used?
i wantt tht soooonggg!
YES!
desperately.
oh nvrmind.
i can ask fadli! (:
i bet he got!
ahahhas!

pretty pretty guy talked to me yesterdae.
yes.
fun.
AHAHHAHAS!

next mr mojo?
cannot be lar..
ahahhas..
u're not strong enuf to rescue small kids.
like me.
kakakas.

we talk crap all day long.
ahahahs.
laughing our butts out.

and i talked to pretty lady oso.
tht 2/2 gurl.
ahahhas
i'm such a GOOD GURL.
thts wad she calls me.
see? how niceee. (:
i feel sho shortt around her. =/
but oh well.

hee HEE.

she said HELLO HELLO.
i said BYEBYE.

ahahhas!!

damn baby all i need is a little bit.
a lil bit of DIS. a lil bit of THAT.

wahahhas.

2005-07-04T02:29:00.000-07:00

you played wif my feelings,
stabbed me in the back
and yet,
u pretend everything's fine.

i'm bored
and nobody is online
plus to my boredomness.

-sighs.

i'm tired but i dont feel like sleeping.
i'm hungry but i dont have the appetite.
i'm happy but i dont feel like smiling.
i'm bored to death at home
but i dont feel like going out.

wassup wif tht?!
plus.plus.plus.plus!

hais..

its almost a MONTH since we broke up.
and i'm still not over it.
wtf?
yes. his fault.
he shouldnt have remind me.
why oh why must we be in de same sch??
whyyyyyy??
arghhhs

yes...i was serious abt our relationship..but i guess u didnt notice it...kept on doin things tt will juz break my heart.

my fault ehk? fine fine.
its
my fault i let u down.
my fault i broke ur PRECIOUS heart.
my fault u couldnt sleep at nite.
my fault u cant see red. -.-
my fault u drug urself for ten days.
yes. my fault.

my fault. my fault. my fault.

i admit now.
happy?
gawd.

oh.
i realised,
i just simply hate COPYCATS lar.
who love them aniway?
bleahhhs`

oh YAR!
to whoever concern:
Mr. mojo is STILL under construction.
lols!
tooooooooooooo badd la u.
-shake head.
ahahhas.

kkies
gtg now.
tired!
bubyeeeee.

EMO!

2005-07-03T15:28:00.000-07:00

i'm so so so into EMO MUSIC now!
ahahs
i love emo ppl.
PLUS +
i love emo bands too.
i love ANYTHING concerning EMO lar.
hee HEE.
and yes.

i even go crazy over emo guys.
ahahas!!

siao.

stupid entry. i admit.
bleahs.

2005-07-03T03:29:00.000-07:00

holy shitt.

talked to syg just now.
yea. (:
jayne la..
my faithful syg..
lols!
accompany me thru the nite till 2.55
den she said she was tired,
so i let her slp.
ahahas..

gawd. i sound lesbian! eeeeekkk. =x

i'm TIRED! but i just cant sleep! wassup wif tht?

anyhos,
i just saw smth totally-gross-can-make-u-puke tragedy!
i saw gays just now! its no suprising matter but
i saw them KISSING! thts even worse!
its like... EEEEEEWWW?
gross.
how could two ppl of the same sex fall in love wif each other?
its like ME kissing ermmmm.. NURVENA!
eee. eee. eee. eee. eeeeeeeee!
cant imagine!
lols!

boredddddddd.
i'm so TIRED! andden he came online. and yea.
we cant see each other lar..
so we end up fighting again.
but i was too tired. dont wanna get mad.
so i wasnt reallie taking wad he said seriously.
yea. and thts good.

YOU!
y y y,just tell me WHY are u still mad at me??
u mind telling me why?
he darn irritates me lar.
o gawd.
oh.
i guess he got mad cos i'm frens wif his daughter.
bleahs~

i use alot of FULLSTOPS nowadays.
sux.

k la.. gtg now..
buhbyeeee.

u took advantage.
and u made me cry again.
gee. thanx dude.
arent u happy now??
isnt dis wad u wan?
to see me miserable all de time?!
yea.
u got it now.
u freaking got it now.

so deep that it doesnt even bleed and catch me.

2005-07-02T23:45:00.000-07:00

new skin. AHAHAs!
nice rite? so cute.
lols!

wonder-vena, u're wrong! i was the one trying ta save de world while u were happily eating nasi ayam at de bb kopitiam. HAa HAa.

though i cannot fly, still i took de BECA. and yes, i'm indeed stronger. HEE HEE.

I JUST LOVE MY NEW SKIN LAR. super cuteeeeee. xD

OH!
i gt to noe new ppl almost everydae.
ahahs.
todae, i got to noe dis gurl name si hui.
i dunno her. she noe me. ahahas! weird reallieee.. .

de other one name david tan boon quek.
he noe me. and i noe him.
haha
he's weird la.
he likes mojo-jojo!
like me!
hee HEE.
(:

kk.
gtg..

dont look no further.
Mojo-diahs rite here.

HA ha!

crap.

2005-06-30T21:46:00.000-07:00

gua suka BANGAT deh sama DIA!
muahahahahs!!

indonesia fever!
sally's influence!
lols!

2005-06-30T16:31:00.000-07:00

everytime i see ur face,

everytime u look my way,

its like it all falls into place

everything feels right.

eversince u walked away,

u left my life in disarray.

all i want is one more day.

its all i need..

one more day wif u.

look at urself and ask urself

how much u mean to me.

THOSE YESTERDAE'S FEELINGS.

2005-06-29T18:52:00.000-07:00

weeeee!

great day todae.

ART.

cik siti showed us some drawings

she made.

nice larrr

-jealous.

HEE hee.

next was...

mt ehk?

ok larr..

as usual,

did some wrkshts

i wanna change seat lar.

i dont like my place

so deserted!

nobody to talk to.

talk to muhaimin abit,

surely he'll SHOUT like as

if i'm like a room apart from him!

bleahhs.

wanna sit beside my superhero gang!

sure fun one.

ahahas!!

yes yes.

i wan =D

RECESS!

HEE HEE?

nth to say lar.

ahahs!

HISTORY.

nth much reallie..

did corrections and all.

yea..

boring.

ENGLISH.

mrs gan gave us compre wrkshts.

den she called ppl to read out.

brandon was awake!

and yea,

again, he went crazy.

like always?

ahahas!

wahida was called to read the first passage for us.

den halfway,

mrs gan stopped her.

i think so lar..

den she gave comments.

said,

"wen u read smth, show some expression! "

lol!!

den brandon went lunatic lar.

ahahas!

(jayne's word. i take! =P)

like,

one of de sentence wrote,

"sisters combing each others' hair."

den brandon suddenly pulled his hair.

-.-

lol?

but watever.

its still an action. ahahs!

den he made stupiid2 actions and all.

ahhaas!

funnyy

MATHS.

brandon told me he divorced wif my mum alreadi.

he said, "i thought u noe alreadi? ur mother leh!"

and he told he cannot tahan her le.

her cooking is not good lar,

she's not sexy enuf lar,

all tht crap lar.

ahahas!!

NO MORE ALGEBRA!

its ALG-STRING now!

ahahs!

IF u get wad i mean.

brandon made tht up.

ahahas! evil.

DENS,

went to plaza wif WONDER-VENA, SALLY HULK and CYCLOPF(fitri)

HEE HEE.

we rescued the ppl there.

yes.

and den we got tired lar.

so ate at KFC dis time.

ahahahs!!

YEA. we're a TEAM.

kekeee.

fun time we had there. (:

went home at 4+.

i PREFER HULK better!

HEE HEE.

oh.

radio was LOUDLY on

and mojo-scruffy cant sleep.

alamakk.

u dunno how to take care arh?

aiiyoooo.

ahahas!

yeapps.

she told me!

ahahas!!

oh yar!

jonathan bought me chocolates.

yeapps.

thanx!

nice of u. =D

heeeee

WHOA.

tired!

u left me wif nth but a question why.

2005-06-28T17:28:00.000-07:00

AHAHS!

kkies..

todae..

err..

quite fun lar..

but better than yesterdae.

yea

goodd.

PE:

boring larr..

i only changed up to my pe shirt.

ahahs.

took our weight.

and guess wad?

i lose 6 kg!

not 1, not 2 NOR 3

but 6!!

khrees looked worried

wen she saw the difference.

from 46 kg

to gladly 40 kg.

i'll gain weight again

swear swear!

ahahs!

- looks at khreeslynne.

i wanna run ROAD RELAY!

arghhhh

my knee still blardy darn hurts.

irritate me.

dont like dont like

MUSIC.

lessons will only start on the 2nd week

so Mrs gan brought us to de

er.. orange room..

ahahs!

watched Harry potter and the sorcerors stone.

been a long time

since i last watched it.

ahahs!

i memorized alot of the lines!

cool eh?

ahahas!!

skips!

DNT.

funnnn!!

i felt so extra.

sat in between jayne and clarice

and beside clarice is chen li

and beside her is khrees.

yea.

extra

de teacher is WORST than mr mah man

de way he speaks and all

and we thought mr mah dunno

how to speak english.

-.-

bleahs.

i sleptt.

i was SO tired man!

jayne too.

i dunno why was i so tired todae.

-sigh.

its so abnormal lar.

oh well

SCIENCE.

some teacher came.

she's gonna teach chemistry?

yea.

jayne arhhh..

can sit there,

but den u dowan.

wad lar u.

u just missed a 'once in a LIFETIME oppurtunity' can?

ahhahas!

kidding lar. xD

in between lesson,

i slept.

once again.

HEHE.

-.-

den went out wif WONDER-VENA.

she was suppose to rescue de ppl

at westmall.

yeapps.

her mision.

i was there to detroy the westmall ville.

and no.

puffypuff boys didnt come to de

rescue.

instead wonder-VENA came to

de rescue.

BUT of course,

m0j0-DIAHS won.

man..

wad can i say?

HEE HEE.

budden i looked at her face,

pity her lar.

so blanjar her burger king.

ahahas!!

and..

we're frens now.

ahhas!

crap.

went home after tht.

i gave it all i can

to keep u in my hand.

should i give up?

i try to understand

was it ever enough?

i dont understand.

everything u want from me,

i fought so hard for everything.

Everything u want from me,

i tried so hard but could never be.

SHIT!

2005-06-27T20:37:00.000-07:00

wad a FUCKED UP day.
dammitts!
pissed off like shittt!!
arghhhhh.
.
.
HATRED.

2005-06-27T13:02:00.000-07:00

i'm so so so HAPPY!

HAHA

i found out smth!

YESYES!

ahahas.

u wanna noe,

find me.

ahahahhas!!

U GAVE ME HEAVEN DEN U TOOK IT AWAY.

2005-06-25T20:27:00.000-07:00

dammits.

she came back.

ergh!

y must she came back??

y y y?!

she's weird man

VERY weird!

mixed attitude in

one darn conversation.

one time she's all nice to me

,pity me and stuff.

den wen she started talking bout HIM,

i got pissed off.

cos i dowan to talk about him.

reallie

i dont think u have the right to noe

about all dis.

watever happened to me and him,

dont bother asking.

cos no way i'm gonna tell ya.

mark my words gurl.

dont go all goody on me.

cos i wont and never will

fall for tht.

yeas.

OH!

and i want a nice nice plaster

for my damaged knee!

HEHE.

mama!

i noe u nice!!

buy me plaster.

HEHE.

i can onli depend on my mum.

sad.

kk..

gotta go now.

buhbyee!

losing u,

its been the hardest thing to do.

so i close my eyes,

and tell myself that somehow

i'll survive.

for hating u, i blame myself.

2005-06-24T21:07:00.000-07:00

band todae was BORING yet tiring.

in de morning,

i was late.

so i saw 947 while i was walking towards

the bustop.

den,

i panicked lar.

so i ran2,

trying to

catch up wif the bus.

and guess wad?

clumsy old me,

i fell down. -.-

so i quickly stand up,

hoping nobody saw me.

heeee..

embarrassing lar!

good thing was,

i got in tht bus (:

yeas.

aft a few mins,

suddenly my left leg felt so numb.

so i sat down

den dis makcik beside me

asked me,

"anak ni nak tissue tak?"

in english-

"child, u want tissue annot?"

l0l!!

while she was saying tht,

she was looking at my knee.

so i was like,

"err.. ok.."

den i looked at where she was looking at.

realised one quarter of my leg

was covered wif blood.

gross reallie..

but its my blood aftall.

yeas..

den,

she gave me dis misyak.

i hafta put it on.

dammits!

hell, it was painful!

i thank de makcik aft tht.

she's one caring makcik.

reached band room.

wasnt tht late aft all.

- sigh.

i panicked for no reason.

percussion section todae was indeed

not fun.

ahahahs..

onli de gurls and gayman came.

ahahas!

i caught him red-handed!

ahahs!

he's siao!

laugh like shit.

ahahs..

kidding lar.

later he asked all his gayman gang,

i scared lar.

AHAHS!

no marble gang todae.

its sux!

noeing i still like him.

and thts NOT good.

yes. its not.

urghs!

alrite..

gtg now..

byebye!

seeing u,

it kills me now.

2005-06-24T09:27:00.000-07:00

its been 14 days since he went away.

and i'm still sad.

- sniffs.

finally he realised i'm still alive. -

2005-06-24T01:28:00.000-07:00

SADLY, its no use. ): -

hehhhh..

let me announce smth b4 i go to bed.

PRINCESS MONONOKE SONG MAKES ME CRY.

serious!!

pretty addicted.

its mononoke fever!

heeeee.

oh!

and jasmine's blog song

makes me CRY too.

same old brand

new me.

weird huh?

such songs can make me cry.

ahahas.

i'm such an emo.

- sniffs.

" You just have to feel the music. "

like wad mr goh

and

mr yiong usually said.

ahahas.

i remembered!

yesh.. me!

.Oh YAR!

sch's gonna re-open soon.

Yays?

i MISS my seat!

i MISS my class!

i MISS my messy table!

i MISS de windows beside my seat!

i MISS de class's smell!

LOL!!

i MISS de class's white-board.

markers, pens, pencils.

ALL!

i even miss my mum! (anna chan)

i miss my dad too! (brandon)

ehh..

cannot cannot.

DANGER!

errr..

wad else i miss?

OH!

i MISS my neighbours!

NORTH, SOUTH, EAST AND WEST.

i MISS the usual crapness!

i MISS recess time! :D

i MISS drinking milo

during recess time!

i MISS mrs gan's lessons!

i MISS mt classroom!

i MISS my mt seat!

i MISS my body-guard!

i MISS gossiping wif cikgu zalynda.

i MISS cik siti!

i MISS drawing in de art classroom!

i MISS sexy vincent! =P

i MISS cooking in de kitchen!

i MISS singing "ALMOST HERE"

wif hadi.

i MISS someone's smell.

somehow i missed it.

i dont miss de person though.

ahAHAs!

i MISS P.E!

FIRST time ok?!

i MISS wearing p.e shirt.

i MISS hanging out wif my frens.

i MISS their crapfulness!

AHAHS!

ALOT LAR I MISS!

heeee..

gotta go to sleep and

snore.

-.-"

shiokk ARH!

ahahas!

i updated TWICE k??

shows how bored i am.

NITEY NITE! (:

dots.

2005-06-23T20:16:00.000-07:00

the way that i miss you tonite-

heyhey!

band practise todae went reallieeee

great. (:

JOHNSTON YAP is dangerous!

beware ppl.

ahahs!

tell u wad he did-

he pulled my hair!

and took my damn hairband.

and i had ta hold onto my hair

for like 10 mins?

violent.

dens,

he took fuad's marbles

and played wif it.

ahahas.

childish!

tell u wad he did to de marbles-

he took 3 marbles.

one is me.

the other is dis someone.

shall not mention his name.

and the other one is teck tee?

dunno how he knew

bout him though.

but oh well.

den its like he was telling a story

bout maself.

ahahhas.

story about my life.

he made it sound like a

love triangle liddat.

ahahs!

PLAINLY CRAP!

de story go smth liddis;

its bout me crazy over dis someone.

den teck tee came along and spoilt

the whole plan.

den dis someone died cos of me.

den i go to teck tee.

den teck tee suddenly went all crazy.

den i dumped him?

yeas

den teck tee died cos of me too.

den suddenly de story got all horny.

suspended cymbals, whip,

drum seat all came out.

ahahhas!!

he made it up.

dont blame me!

ahahas!

heees..

nyways,

tht mononoke song totally RAWKS!

love it like hell man!

ahahahs..

no kidding.

its niiceee. (:

yeapps.

oh yar,

me, jayne and sahida went home

aft tht.

waited for 178 bus like

hell long!

ahahas.

we went nuts!

me especially..

hehe..

oh yar,

wen jayne reached her house bustop,

she survived.

she didnt fall after all.

dammits!

ahahahahs!!

oh!

i wrote dis poem for dis someone.

long2 time ago..

but decided to release it now.

ahahahs..

read it yea?

i'm sorry i'm not what you thought

i should be.

I'm sorry i didnt make u smile

wen u look at me.

i'm sorry i didnt make u happy.

I'm sorry i'm not beautiful nor

perfect to u.

sorry i just dont fit in.

I'm sorry all the times i tried.

but i guess i'm just not good enough

for you.

i gave it to him once.

just HOPE he remembers nth.

heeee..

done(:

see ya!

2005-06-22T21:15:00.000-07:00

I prefer to be single than live my life wif u. -

Yeappies!

my craving's gone!

mama FINALLY bought me

hersheys!

heeees..

oh yar.

band tml.

10 to 6?

dammits.

dont like lar..

but oh well.

life just HAVE to move on huh?

sucky life.

urghs

i'm FARR tooo

l0nelyy.

2005-06-21T22:08:00.000-07:00

he tickles in

my tummy.

heeeee

aHAHs!

its not a crime to

be nuts.

hehhh

2005-06-21T18:17:00.000-07:00

DAMMIT!!

arghhhh!!!

i dont need u to do tht!

reallie.

seriouslyy!!

SHITTT!!

i simply simply hate all dis!!

2005-06-21T09:18:00.000-07:00

I'm going to make you mine,

It's not impossible,

Got to let you know,

I'm irresistible,

can't you see,

You're the one for me,

But you belong to another,

I don't wanna hurt nobody,

But my heart just can't hold back,

It's the Way You Make Me Feel,

Spinning my world around,

Tell me how can I walk away,

I don't care what they say,

I'm loving you anyway,

It's the way you make me feel

When I look into your eyes,

Everytime you smile at me,

I go weak inside,

I just can't hide my love.

2005-06-20T21:48:00.000-07:00

heyhey..

went out to orchard road todae

wif buddy, jayne, clarice and julite.

was so so so fun!

ahahahax!

okok..

lets start from the beginning.

around 1 plus,

sis woke me up cos she wanted to

use my ez-link card.

i looked at the time

realised i was so so late!

i'm suppose to be THERE by den.

ahahahx..

so called jayne.

told her i cant make it.

but she said she'll wait for me..

hehhh..

so i got ready.

reached there around 1.50?

kekes..

they were mad

like duh?

eheehee..

sorrie la..

i slept at 3 yesterdae

wad do u expect?

yeapppzs.

so..

took 190.

AHAH!

smth bad and indeed embarrassing thing

happened to dear jaynie wee.

AHAHAHHA!!

gravity gurl!

i wont tell lar...

i'm not tht mean..

ahahahahha!!

skips!

den went in faiz plaza.

we went in dis shop

got my nails done.

den we went in 77th street.

buddy and jayne

bought sunglasses.

ahahahx..

yeapp..

dens...

WINDOW SHOPPING

all de way.

ahaha!

den we went in dis photo shop..

its nicer than taking neoprints man!

thx to buddy arh.

aahhahas..

oh yar..

shes getting prettier seh..

ahahahx!!

kembang arh tu. =P

okok..

back to de story...

we took pics.

it turn out VERY nice man.

$5 per person.

acceptable lar hor?

oh!

anybody got scanner?

tell me please!

thankyews.

ehehee..

alrite alrite..

i'm done.

oh yar..

to mama,

sorrie about just now..

i dunno wad happen to me.

lost control of maself.

so so so sorrie! =(

lurve ya!

2005-06-19T20:51:00.000-07:00

its not okay

but i'm alright.

i remember de days

u were a hero in my eyes.

but those were just a long lost memories of mine.

but sometimes i forget

and dis time i admit

that i miss you.

2005-06-16T04:10:00.000-07:00

i want u to be my love toy;

todae's not good!

early in de morning,

he told me his grandma died.

and he was so so sad

i dont even noe wad to do..

buuuutttt...

i comfort him after tht.

yeapps.. i did =)

den den

i sat down on ma chair,

wanted to use the comp.

but

first time ever,

my backbone hurts like hell!

and i couldnt take it.

so i slept all dae long.

around 8 at nite,

worst thing ever happened!

MY HP DROPPED INTO THE
FREAKING SINK!

and man..

was i pissed off!!

water everywhere

around my precious hp!

and guess wad?!

i cant use it now.

mama said once it dropped into de water,

cannot use alr.

i wanna cry RITE THERE MAN!

and tml i hafta go somewhere FAR from home

and not bringing my hp?

for like 3 days 2 nite?

how to survive?!

DAMMIT.

y NOW?!!!!

arghhhs!

oh yar,

and im listening to songs

i'm not suppose to like!

thts too weird!!

cos i noe wad i like

and wad i dont like!

used to.

i dont even noe myself now

haiiix..

but oh well.

who cares

hehh

* yawns *

its 3.55 am to b exact.

and yes indeed

i'm bored!

ahahahhax..

i'm tired!

but i'm not sleepy..

ahahhax..

alrite alrite..

i'll stop dis thing.

and sahiida!

i need ur help!

reallie argent!

but too bad..

guess u're sleeping.

haiix..

k la..

gtg..

buhbyeeeee

2005-06-15T17:34:00.000-07:00

3 cheers for sweet revenge;

u asked for all dis to happen.

u broke ma heart.

still,

i wanna be frens wif u...

den u told me u're ENJOYING UR LIL LIFE!

by not sleeping for days.

my fault issitt?!!

i noe i broke ur heart before..

but i did pay for it rite?!

tell me who's wrong now?!!

every nite,

u're online...

starting all dis fights.

u noe i didnt mean to say all those..

but u MADE me say it..

u told me to move on.

thts ur wish remember?!

and i did move on.

so y are u even mad at me?!!

i dont understand u.

sorrie if i broke ur heartt..

i dont even noe the Haris i used to noe before.

one last thing...

NO one's perfect!

neither are you!

okkk..

i was chatting wif

khrees just now.

she made me come back to my senses.

i realised her stories was

worst than mine.

so yea..

appreciate it lots for comforting me

one last time.

i was hurt.

too badd dis time...

2005-06-14T19:02:00.000-07:00

thoughtless;

Why are you trying to make fun of me? '

You think it's funny?

What the fuck you think it's doing to me?

You take your turn lashing out at me

I want you crying with your

dirty ass in front of me .

.
All of my hate cannot be found

I will not be drowned by

your thoughtless scheming

So you can try to tear me down

Beat me to the ground

I will see you screaming

2005-06-14T04:56:00.000-07:00

I may be a loser but at least i'm not alone;

Eyes are feeling heavy

but they never seem to close.

Here, a little sympathy

for u to waste on me.

i just cant do anything for u

to call me ur own.

Its ok to get angry and never

let go.

it only gets harder the more

that u noe.

If u feel lonely wen no one's

around,

u noe tht i'll catch u wen u're

falling down.

We came together but

u left alone.

And i noe how it feels like to walk

out on ur own.

Maybe someday u will feel

the same and u'll

look me in the eye

and call me ur friend again.

writing dis poem... at 4+ in the morning.

and i was SINCERELY bored.

got nth to do...

oh yar..

to tht somebody..

i dunno wadda hell is ur problem..

calling me nigga wen i was trying to be frenly wif u..

goddammit!

holy shit!

i'm fine wif tht man..

u wanna be mean,

den mean it is den!

urghhhh..

2005-06-11T23:49:00.000-07:00

okok..

i wanna write something MEANINGFUL todae..

if i die tml, at least i noe i've said it all...

alrite... let's starttt..

firstly...

to my beloved mama

who i love like MAD!

THANKYEW for all de love and care

u've gave me.

u show me love.

u show me trust.

u taught me how to respect ppl.

u're always busy,

doing ur stuff at the office..

but we dont care mama..

cos we noe u only work there

for us.

u got so much responsibility on ur shoulder,

but yet u still stay strong!

all for US. and only for us.

love u mama.. =))

T0 my dearest kakak,

u saw me grow uppp..

u were always there for me..

thru thick and thin..

i'll always remember how we usually fite

and den we'll be back to normal

at exactly five minutes later!

l0l!

u taught me how to love myself..

and i simple adore u for tht(:

my youngest sis, natasha.

though u may irritates me sometimes..

i admit..

without u in the house,

the house will be AWFULLY empty and quiett..

and tht's NOT good.

u'll always and forever will be my little baby. =)

my best buddy in de world,

nurvena..

HAHA.

thanx for cheering me up alwaes!

and i mean A-L-W-A-E-S!

u're alwaes there to listen to my problems..

accept me for who i am.

and not for who i pretend to be.

u noe i'm not perfect..

u even accept my clumsiness and stupidity.

and u rawk BIG TIME!

to my second favourite buddies!

Sahida and fitrii..

heyhey,

u GUYS RAWK MAN!

sahida, the cutesttt.

alwaes make me smile somehow..

u alwaes listen to my complaints

and my problems..

and alwaes the one to solve it too..

u'll alwaes come up wif something

to solve the problem..

i noe...

thanx for all the efforttt..

lurve ya!

fitri,

the funniestt and the pervert one. =P

just by the way u laugh,

u can make me laugh too.

though u alwaes bully me, =X

u're still the best man!

lurve ya too!!

to my sayang,

Jayne,

u noe u rawk my worldd..

ahahax!

though u never cheer me up,

just by listening to my problems

is enuf to me.

cos i noe..

at least someone care to spend at least

one miserable hour listening to all of it!

thx man...

to khreeslynne,

thanx for cheering me up the other dae.

u rawk too =)

and come back soon alrite?

everyone misses u!

to mira,

thanx for being my fren..

though u're leaving soon,

hope u wont forget all of ur frens here. =)

hehe..

u're one caring fren! -smiles at u-

to rasx,

thanx for giving all the cat details man..

ahahax!

and thanx for tagging at my blog.

l0l?

great fren she is. =)

OH!

to julite,

thanx for accompany me just now..

reallie appreciate it man! =))

oh...

and the dudes.

farid and teck tee.

farid..

thanx man..

once again for cheering me upp..

i havent laugh tht bad until u came along..

appreciate it lots! =)

teck tee..

the dude who went all dis shit cos of me..

sorri i broke ur heart..

i noe u did try to cheer me up

after the break up between me and him.

though deep inside,

i noe u're suffering...

sorrie once again..

and thx for being there for me =)

and i wanna say dis to dis someone..

who betrayed me

but still a fren..

wahida.

one part of me hates u

for having such thought of me!

u WERE my fren.

i believed in u..

trusted u...

but u end up doing dis to me.

tell me..

do i deserve all dis?!

but yet..

another part of me still love u.

u had been one awesome fren!

wish we could settle all dis..

cos i wanna get all dis shit over wiff.

but yea..

thanx for being a thing called "FREN".

and to alllll the rest who cheered me upp,

thankyeww sooo much! =)

alrite alrite..

i'm done!

hehe..

2005-06-10T12:05:00.000-07:00

i hate the fact tht u're so heartless.

i feel so weak.

i noe its gonna end.

so why am i even crying?

i cant stand it!

but i guess i'll move on...

cos its not me who broke his heart dis time

he broke mine.

and it hurts like someone just come up

to me and stab me

to death!

cos it was so shocking..

i didnt expect it to end dis way.

but it did.

and its over.

finally over and we both noe it.

i noe the truth now.

i noe who u really are..

and i dont love u anymore.

i'm GLAD i dont.

2005-06-09T20:58:00.000-07:00

u're so irritating!
u noe tht?
cos of u..
i cant sleep at nite!
u complaint TOO much.
cant use dis.
cant use tht.
u dont noe how much pain u've put me thru.
everybody will look at YOU wen they talk to me!
u wanna atract ppl's attention rite?!
now u got it!
everytime i see u,
i just feel like crying!
go away!!
pleaseeeee!
i beg beg you!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
arghhhhhh!
stupiidd pimple!

2005-06-08T15:31:00.000-07:00

I wrote your name

in the sky,

but the wind blew it away.

I wrote your name

in the sand,

but the waves washed it away.

I wrote your name

in my heart,

and forever it will stay.

i love u sweetie(:

.

2005-06-07T21:36:00.000-07:00

i cant believe all dis!

i dowan to go thru the pain

i've been thru before...

i dunno wad the hell is going on between us.

but it's not right

i noe smth's not rightt.

and tht's not good!

it's so not good!

i dowan dis to end.

i dont.. i dont..

someone help.

pleaseee!

='((((

...........................

my life is so TOOT!

2005-06-06T22:48:00.000-07:00

hey!
wentt to the first ever lesson.
was FUN!!
didnt expect it to be soooo fun..
ahahax..
.
.
wen i entered the mosque,
i was like,
"ya allah, ampunilah dosaku terhadapmu. AMin!"
=X
ahahax!!
i insaf alr k??
entered the classroom,
got to noe some ppl.
was co0l
.
.
den we met the trainer.
his name?
hazni haris.
ahahax!!
niiceee rite?
got his name behinddd.
he was so...
so.... cute?
yea... he's cute!
no kidding..
ahahax..
.
.
played some games.
Super fun!!
den he asked some qs. and all..
he asked,
"does appearance matter?"
everybody nodd their heads!
ahahax..
bad bad us..
.
.
den he gave us dis situation.
if a guy who's ugly and a guy who's super good-looking wants u,
they're both nice!
who will u pick?
everybody wants the good-looking one.
kekeke..
.
.
but to me arhh..
appearance do matter somehow.
but u need to look deeper too...
u gotta noe their personality
yes.. yes..
i'm a good gurl.
i am..
ahahax!!
.
sound familiar?
STAR WARS!
we should watch it, we must!
ahahax!!
YODA!!!
.
.
oh yar,
tht dude is soooooo irritating!
i cantt stand him man..
grrrrrrrrr~!
.
.
haiiixxxx..... i'm bored.
tht's y i'm talking crapp..
like always?
ahahax..
kkies..
gtg now..
buhbyeeeee!

2005-06-05T20:11:00.000-07:00

ohhhhhhhhhhhh..

i'm screwed!!

mama sign me up for dis

islamic course thingy.

and i'm sooooo not looking forward to it.

i'm nott i'm nottt..

mama said it's gonna be fun though..

i hope she's right!

i hope i'll enjoy myself there..

ahahax..

oh!

i'm happyy again..

thx to those who had been by my side

cheering me up and stuff..

really really appreciate it(:

luv u guys!

oh yar,

we're back.

ahahax..

yea.. yea..

anddd..

he've turn JIWANG!

though he dowan to admitt it..

oh well..

ahahax..

kk..

gtg now..

SEE YA!

cintaku padamu ikhlas sejati

2005-06-02T22:09:00.000-07:00

YIKES!

i dunno wadda hell is happening to me!

i'm getting blurrer every single day!

oh ok..

i'll give u EVIDENCE.

l0l!

band todae was NOT good.

there's dis one time wen mr yiong

asked me to play the snare drum

den Yumi woke me up,

told me to take the snare

den i got up la den

i wanted to go out to take it

cos the snare is nextt door rite??

buttttttt...

instead i have to play dis round2 thingg..

dunno wad it's called..

EXPLAINATION TO MY BLURNESS!

buuuuuttttt..

it didnt end there!

dennn..

we playedd this Japanese piece..

kinda niceee..

Mr yiong or Mr goh asked me to play

the ULTRA heavy cymbals!

i was like.. "oh gawd.. i gotta be DREAMING!"

but nono..

i was SO IN REALITY!

i NEVER played itt before..

so?

i screwed EVERYTHING up!

dennn..

i was SO busy counting,

i FORGOT to play the suspended cymbals partt..

wth rite?

DOUBLE to my blurness!

oh GOD!

HELP ME!

minus the blurness in me!

pls pls god, i'm begging u!

AMIN!

2005-05-31T22:23:00.000-07:00

i realised i'm like last time again..

waiting..

waiting for..

happiness to come my way.

pretending everything's fine..

wen obviously i'm not.

smiling like as if i'm the HAPPIEST gurl in the universe.

wen inside i'm crying.

got his frens coming up to me..

asking me the same qs. over and over again.

"y did u guys break up?"

"Y dowan to patch back?"

"U ok annott??"

and thttt crappy gurl telling me all dis stuff

about him..

all dis SUX!

and I hate it!

U guys knew we broke up...

y did u guys still wanna ask me aboutt it?!

Isnt it OBVIOUS enough??

i'm not fine..

i'm nott..

so PLS,

i begg u ppl to stop asking me again.

pls pls pls

one last kiss goodbye.

2005-05-31T22:22:00.000-07:00

Camping was fiineee.
we had funnn.
I had fun
so tht's good..

kkies..
reached there,
different class got separated into
different groups.

my grp's...
ermmmmm...
oooookkk lar.

Get to noe each other among ourselves.
got dis guy who pronouced
my name as
NAD-yar
-.-"
watever.

Den we had lunch
Food was ooookkk..
den we played games.
firstt was...

the hand holding game?
i held dis guy's hand who called me NAD-yar
and farah i think..
the 2/6 gurl..
ahahax..
yeappx..
it was FUN!
realliee..
ahahax

denn..
it was the MRT game..
SUPERR fun!

he kept standing beside me..

toot lar.

we did 1st try

failed.

we did 2nd try

still failed

budden we did the lastt tryyy..

and we did it!!!

like yeah?

ahahax..

Den the spiderweb game..

hard lar

body have to be super flexible

but i made it thru anyway

Den the crisscross game.

Confusing.

but fun

ahahahx !!

everybody held everybody's hands.

ahahax!

the sea game

whoa..

the journey.

i wontt forgett tht!!

NEVER!

it's soooooo tirinngggg!!

no kiddingg!!

kk..

skip skip.

reachedd there.

took a bath..

i forgott to bring my another shirttt

arghhhh!

so i hafta wear the same clothes.

-.-"

oh well..

ate dinner..

nasir toldd me stories..

gawddd..

spoilt my mood for the whole dae

budden aft dinner,

we played kidnapped.

and hadd funn

we SWEAT like hell!

eeeeeekk...

smelly~

ate supper aftt tht.

den wentt to sleep

i coudntt sleepp

cos it was sooo colddd..

and all i had wif me was a..

pathetic jacket?

i was actually WAITING for 6.30

oh gawd.

todae

last dae there.

first game was to design one of the members

so tht he or her wontt get wett.

we wantedd to make a mummy.

but failed..

too little toilet paper..

ahahahx !

den we made..

ermmmmm...

i also dunno wad we made lar..

pity tht 2/1 dude.

he lookedd like shitt..

blamed us cos we made him liddatt..

ahahax..

lunch

indra was like...

oh gawd..

flirts like no one's businness.

den played amazing race.

one word,

aa-MA-ZIINGG!

HAH!

ran here ran there..

tiring but we were the firstt group to arrive

but we ran like madd!

Suzzane(our instructor) told us we were the

last grp to arrive.

stupiidd ritee?!

trickedd us sia..

ahahax..

tht gurl kept staring..

wassup wiff her man?!

feel like poking her damn eyes.

urghhhhhh

nyways,

we wentt home aft tht.

oVerall;

F.U.N!!

but i'm sickkk..

oh nono..

tml gott bandd..

somemore got tht robotics thingyy..

HAIX!!!

swayy monthh..

2005-05-29T17:36:00.000-07:00

My story.

Bagaikan siang tiada matahari

Bagai sajak tiada tajuknya

Bagaikan syurga tanpa bidadari

Pulanglah sayang,

usahkau berpadi

Di sini, pasrah menanti.

i wanna be jiwang for awhile

SORI to those who's non-malay.

i dunno how to translate lar..

ahahahx..

SORRIE!!

rite now..

chatting wif farid and sahida.

herrmmmm..

boredness.

but at least i got somebody to

talk to(:

oh,

to faridd,

THANX for cheering me upp..

all those webcam crap thingy..

those stuff REALLY helps.

though it's kinda scaryy..

ahahahx !

oh yar,

it's over alr..

so no use talking about it again..

butttt...

thanx lar hor ?

ahahahax...

oh yar,

me and him.

we're frens now...

we got into a "fite"

he's damn racistt man.

i'll support my 'MANY MANY PAINS'

FOREVER!

and u cantt stop mee!!

*evil laugh*

oh yar,

i HATE THT SOMEBODY LIKE FUCK!

realliee..

i do i do..

wad's ur MOTIVE of doing all dis stuff man?!

urghhhhhhh

oh yar,

i'm going NE camp tml

like finally?

ahahax..

i'll have funnn..

i hope

OK!

gtg now...

buhbyeeeeee !!

2005-05-27T23:49:00.000-07:00

i saw.
i saw alot of many many pains todae.
and they're so HOTT !!
really... they are !
kekeke...

i saw one in sch..
told Azra i was interested in him..
den Azra actually called the guy and asked for his no.
Oh GAWD !
Until den, he kept looking at our direction,
giving us THOSE looks.
Ewwwwww !!

oh yea,
i collected bus tickets.
-.-"
ahahahx

oh dammit !
i deleted ALL my messages in my inbox+ my folders
without thinking.
and now my inbox is empty
how "great".

oh yea,
saw Indra todae.
He told me "don't be sad."
i'm trying.. i'm trying..
ahahax...

i'm sick.
sick of cryinggg..
sick of lying in my bed,
regretting everything i've said.
sick of all this shit i'm going through
but i have to face reality
and i will.
yes yes
i will.

Wad's done is done.

It's no turning back.

and tht's sad

VerY very sadddd

i should move on.

2005-05-26T17:37:00.000-07:00

haix...

depressedd.

very very depressedd..

alrite..

todae is my buddy's burfdaee..

so....

HAPPIE BURFDAEEE !!

i didntt get to beat u upp !!

nvm..

u watch outt tml !!

yesh.. yeshh..

ahahahx..

the fight just now was horrible

i was crying non-stop

it hurts.

it still hurts

but it's done

and we're over.

so yea...

NE camp is coming.

i'm not looking forward to itt..

i'm not i'm not.

just two days and ONE nite ??

how pathetic is tht ?

but i'll try to enjoy myself there..

yeshh..

i will i will.

oh yea,

i got a gifttt from dis someone.

it's niiceeee..

and i simply love ittt..

thankyewww..

u dontt hafta buy it u noe ?

ahahhax..

i just found out..

tht jonathan ng was kinda friendly

he kinda cheered me up..

ahahax..

thanx yea ?

i'm fine.... i guess...

hmmmmmm..

oh yea,

i was mad at myself just now..

and i was holding onto my hp...

and i just threw the hp on the floorr..

den piiaakkk !!

it dropped on the floor.

and iiiiii dropped it !

ME !

............

i NOE !!

i dunno wad was i thinking den...

and there's scratches now.

oh gawdd.

scruffy's trying hard to cheer me up..

i noe..

she kept giving me those innocentt looks..

tht really make me smiilee..

ahahax..

oh yea,

me and my frens's gonna watch movie tml

i thinkk..

and we're gonna play arcade !

DAYTONA !!

yeahhhh...

so i hope tht can cheer me up abitt...

alrite..

going out wif mama soon..

and i cantt wait for tht...

gtg now..

buhbyeeee !!

it hurts

somehow it still does

i still noe i love u..

deep deep down inside.

i'll keep u forever in my heartt.

i will i will.

2005-05-25T14:33:00.000-07:00

i'm mad

VERY mad

seriously seriously mad

and i cant take it anymore.

i won't fall for ur stupid crap anymore

mark my words !

urrghhhhh

2005-05-24T22:53:00.000-07:00

why,

why do people find joy in hurting people?

Why, when someone breaks up with someone,

we're happy?

Why is it when someone finds love or happiness,

we try everything to break it up or bring it down?

Why is it,

when people are short of something

or a little slow in registering something,

we laugh at them?

Why is it when a person has a chronic illness,

we make fun of them?

-copyright reserved; Sis

I'm not perfect..

nobody is...

And I've realised that I've done a lot of things

tht might hurt ppl's feelings.

well, i'm sorrie if i had hurt anyone of u.

i had enough of all dis.

there's betrayals everywhere

and i'm sick of them !

reallie.

ohh yarr,

i finally knew who were those ppl

who used to taged at my blog

and made fun of me like as if those were their last words.

gawd,

one word.

shocked.

u two,,

i dunno wadd i did to u guys..

but hell,

i dont care about those ppl who hate me

no more.

i noe i got my real frens wif me..

so y would i give a damn about u guys ?

gawd

"thanx" arhh ehhhh..

u guys reallieee "rock" my world.

urghhhh

i'm outdated.

i noe..

i realisedd,

there's hypocrites everywhere.

y not justt be honest

than hide urself and act innocentt infront of everybody rite ?

like me and sahida..

we solved everything out

and found out there's a HYPOCRITE who

caused all this up..

yeah... yeah..

u're done gurrl !

dead !

mampos !

si dia0 liia0 !

yesh..

don't act innocentt alr larr..

dis is nott ur firstt time u made rumours

about me.

urghhhh !

k la.. gtg now..

buhbyeeeeeee !

gawddddd

2005-05-23T18:06:00.000-07:00

i'm irritated.

my blo0d's boiling of angerrr..

i can't stand it.

if u wanna fight,

if u're up to it,

den i'm FINE !

gawdddd..

*irritated*

2005-05-23T16:31:00.000-07:00

i realised,

i'm deadd.

it's getting nearer

and i'm still not prepared for it.

HOWWWW ??

i'm screwed!

screwed!

arghhhhhhh

oh yarrr,

tht gurl keptt on disturbing me.

she PISSed me offff!

if onlyy i noe who she is...

i swearr i'll STRANGLE her to death arhhh

she nearly made me cryyy..

her words were CRUEL.

mean evil words.

ahahx !

oh yarr,

buddy's burfdae is coming soon.

and i still dunno wadd to get for herr..

=XXX

wadd u wantt ??

u tell meee,

cos i dunno wadd to get for u..

ahahhahax !!

sorriee laaa..

i'm not looking forward to scho0l days.

i dunno y

i can't go online !!

i cant even go to my friendster !!

stupiid compp..

VERI !

urghhhh !!

k la.. gtg now..

buhbyeeeeeeee !!

anotherr page laa

2005-05-22T03:54:00.000-07:00

Sis and me. i tiedd up my hairr.. hottt laaaa.. ahahahax..

Dad's carr. agaiinn.. ahahahx.. i ADORE it soooooo muchhhhh !!

Me and her again. i gott fringe thtt time.. noww it's verii veriii longg.. urghhh !

darrling SCRUFFY! i dunno where i put the latestt pic of herr.. She's a lil bigger now btw. ahahax.. i realised. Scruffy's gonna grow up to look like Rustie (rasx cat) ahahhahax !

Some pics laaa.. ahahhax..

2005-05-22T03:12:00.000-07:00

Me and my buddyy. i can't rotate the darn pic !! arghhhhh !! stressness. ahahahx !

Haydennn. The ~~starr wars~~ guyyy. 100%ly GORGEOUS ! *melting in progress*

daddy's carrr. Hyundai sonata. Gorgeous huh ? ahahahhax !!

Billy. goodd charlotte. i adore themmm ALL ! ahahahx !

wo0ho0 !!

2005-05-21T17:58:00.000-07:00

ii feeel so high

i dunno yyy.

ahahax !!

guess i'm getting betterr.

ppl cheeredd me up everydae.

thankyewwwwww((:

woke up earrlyy.

butt too lazyy to get upp from my bed.

den lie down like as if i'm dead for

like 3 hours ??

kekekeee..

i'm getting restless

hhaaiixxx..

i shouldd have come yesterdaee..

den can gett my results.

actuallyy i'm not really looking forward to it.

i'm gonna fail?

but mama was VERY understanding!

i toldd her i'm gonna fail my mid-year.

she said she knew what i had been going thru

den said it's not too late to bug up.

i shall bug up!

i criedd the whole dae justt noww.

i dunno WHY!!

i kept on reading the messages on my hp.

den suddenly i cried.

sadness

i miss someone's smell.

hmmmmmmm...

tues NAPFA testt?

urghh!

i've always hated napfa testt.

esp. the standing broad jumpp.

ahahax..

not looking forwardd to itt.

*shake head*

oh yaaaa,

SOMEONE's burffdae is coming !!

Wo0ho0!!

whowhowhowhowho??

ahahahx !!

holding on to the memories

cos u're not here to hold me tight.

u laugh when u told me,

it hurts to be apart.

it's been hard enough for me

getting over u.

i miss u so much and i

dunno wad to say.

i should be over u

i should known better u

forgot me long ago.

so why is it so hard to forget about u?

why does everything still hurts?

toooOOOtttttt!!

it's over.

i'm done.

see ya!

i miss u.. i realliee do..

2005-05-20T23:43:00.000-07:00

Latest trademark=

Every fairytale

has an ending.

Mine just didn't end

happily

everr afterr.

heyx !!

i didn't come to sch todaeee..

sicksicksicksickk!

actuallyy i was tiredd..

den ii woke up,

my headd was like.. spinningg like hell!

den i throw upp! as iin i puke laaa..

aiyox.

i dunno wadd i ate yesterdaeee

i'm physically and mentally ill.

hhhaaaiixxxx..

i dunno wad's happening to mee.

i've became so weak

*sigh*

oh yea..

ii wrote one poem..

i'm boredd at home!!

wad do u expectttt ??

ahahahx..

readd it alrite?

tell me wadd u thinkk aboutt itt..

thankyew(:

Pain and suffering

is what she goes through every day

No one knows what about

She keeps it a silent secret

A painful secret

The way she handles it is painful and sad

She wishes she could tell

but no one would understand
she's falling fast with

nothing to hold on to

wont some one help her

because she don't know what to do

Inside she's crying

outside she's smiling

She stands in the rain

so no one sees her cry

but no one wonders

no one asks why

the look on her face

is a distant stare

but does any one notice

does any one care

if you open your eyes

if you open up wide

then you'll see all the tears that

She cried.

oh yea..

the 'she' mentioned was me.

i don't like to use 'i' when i wrote a poem.

ahahahx ! don't ask y.

u should noe by now it was a depressedd poem.

no more love poem..

for now laa..

ahahhax !!

kiess.. tht's it i guess..

see ya !

P.s= muz tell me if it's nice arhhhhh.. LOL !

2005-05-18T19:10:00.000-07:00

guess wad ?
guess wad ?
guess wad ?
guess wad ?
guess wad ?
guess wad ?

i forgot. shittt !

oh yarr,

chatt wiff farid justt now.
yea.. the jokerr farid..
we played CHECKERS !
aahahhax !!
funnNESS !
and guess who won ????

ME !!

ahahahax !
now THAT's the exciting parttt !
LOL !
he losttt the battle !
wahahahahx !!
at firstt, he was SOO confidentt he's gonna win me..
he made all kinds of deals.
like ...

"if u lose, i'm gonna tell the whole SCHOOL u're dating haris, even the TEACHERS!"
and andd..
"if u lose, i will strip naked and run around the school!"
ahahahax !!
"if u win, i will give u $4 tml."

he neverr thoughtt i end up wiinning.
bleahx~
ahahax !
he owe me moneyy.
he was the one who made the deal anywayy...
ahahhax !! stupiid him laaa..
reallieee !!
ahahahax.. k la.. tht's it for noww..
i updated twice mannn..
boredom is killing me !
urghhhh !

2005-05-17T13:12:00.000-07:00

heyheyyy !!
so longg i neverr updatee.
i noe ppl missss meee...
ahahhax !!
kiddin' laaaaa..

okok..
exam's FINALLY overrr !!
Yay ?
ahahax !!
hhappieee laaa..
but ii have a feelingg i'm gonnaa faill
=((((
hhaaaiixxxx..

ermmm.. ermmm..
myy comp's SPOILEDD !!
how "cool" is thttt ??
urghhh !
gott a LOTT of viruz
den denn i cannott go to variouss sites.
uselesss !!
veri VERI useless !

ermm.. yesterdae was the lastt paperr.
historyy.
soooooooo EXTREMELYY harddd !
i findd the essay qs. quite easyy..
i mean.. ii cann answerr laaa..
but the section B was harddd.
VERI harddd !!
leftt out A WHOLE LOT of qs.

COUCH CARTERR !
watchedd the movie yesterdae.
WAS FUNNNN !!!
i boughtt nachos !!!
finallyy i can eatt it again !
ahahahhax !
there's dis partt wen i wantedd to cryy
cos it was SUPERR touchinggg,
but ii wore eyeliner denn cannott cryyyy...
muz maintainn my image !
eheeheeeee..

hadiii's EVIL !!
he tookk lots of MY nachos cheeseeee !!
like a wholeee LOT !!
hrmmmmppp !!

oh yarr oh yarrr..
sco0terr gurl and gangg wentt in latee..
it was darkk wen she enteredd..
den me anf fitrii was likee... "eh, let the pregnantt ladyy sitt arhx..."
buddenn wen she came nearerr,
we're like .. laughinggg our buts outtt !!
cos it wasss HERR !!
ahahhahahx !!
fuunnnieeee laaaa..
we're plainlyy EVIL !
yesh.. yeshhh..
*evil laugh*
ahahahx..

wentt out wif mama aftt the moviee
wentt to burgerr king..
eatteatteattt !
toldd mama bout my daily lfe.
ahahahhaax !!!
wasss funn laaaaaa ..
justt goingg outt wif her was funn..
coss she's always BUSY and i neverr get to
spend alot of time wiff her much.
sadness huh ?
='(

ii can'tt WAITT for schh holidays...
ii wannaa sleepp my BUTS outtt !!
and wakee upp lateeee..
ahahhax !!
but laterr i'll miss hiiimmm..
hhaaaaiiixxxx..
agreedd wif rasx,
1 month is TOO muchh..
ahahx !

andd andd..
i can'tt use my MSN !!
arghhhhh !!
stressnesss.

oh yarrrr,,,
ii readd the poemmm,,
u're plainlyy SWEETT !!
ahahahhax !!
ii lovee u t00 muchhhhhhh..
muackkx !

den denn,
he calledd yesterdae,
gott to hearr his voice again..
=))))
ehheeee..
k la.. thinkk i'm done noww..
buhbyeeeee !!

we both noe hearts can change anytime.

2005-05-12T20:57:00.000-07:00

i changed my skin.
darkk huh ??
ahahahx !!
nice laaaa..
to me.
eheheee..

science exam,
was hard.
i only knew how to do the sexual intercourse section.
=XXXX
cos ii studied thtt on my wayy to schh mahh...
ahahahhax !!
*cover face*
Pray hardd i'll pass this paper.

Pray hard
Pray hard
Pray hard
Pray hard
Pray hard
yesh... yeshhh((;

ahahax..
nth muchh happenedd todae laa..
wenttt to lot 1 aft sch..
was funnn..
not until tht little "event" happenedd.
i madee nice2 okkk ??
den u guys go and destroyedd ittt !!
i didn't even have a pic off itttt !!
damn u ppl.
didn't talk la aftt tht...
ahahahx..

wentt home wiff nurvena..
nurvena cheeredd me up.
ahahax !!
smiled.
abit.
but at leastt someone made an effortt to cheer me upp.
ahahax !!
thanx arhh buddyy 2.

nyways, me and nurvena made our own code !

her: are u thinking wad i'm thinking buddy 1 ?
me: i think i am buddy 2.
*sings* we're BUDDIES in pajamas ~ !
ahahax !! we can be reallieee childishh at times.(=

and andd..
we wentt home aftt thtt.
ahahax !!

i shouldd be more understanding.
should understandd u better(:
yesh.. yeshhhh... i will !((:

48.14.o5

tht's wen i'll stop loving u.

2005-05-10T17:18:00.000-07:00

heyheyy !
loadza things happenedd todae.
hhaaaiixxx..
.
todae
wentt to sch wiff nurvena and julite.
studiedd like SHITT !!
ahahax !!
didn't even lookk anywhere..
ahahaaaa..
.
tookk the geographyy paperr.
damn ! it was harddd !!
ahahax !!
no kiddin' !!!
have a feelingg i'll fail this paperr..
haixx...
.
aftt sch,
two embarrasing things happened.
firstt,
ahahax !! embarrasiingg laa..
don't tell arhx.
ahahax !!
pleasee laaaa.. ~ !!
second,
I FELL DOWNNNN !! stupiidd draiinn !
it's soooo sliperryy den i fell downn..
thank god nurvena was the only person who saww itt !!
aahaaaahaaaax !!
she keptt laughiingg at me..
all the waaayy to the bustopp.
arghhhhhh !!
ahahax !!
painfull laaaa..
u eviL !
don't even wanna helpp meee..
ii BET u guys, she's gonna braggg aboutt it tml..
ahahax !!
*cover face*
.
i saidd smth badd to him..
regret.regret.regRET !!
hhaaaaiixxxx..
i'm sorriee i lett u downn...
shouldn'tt have saidd those things.
sorrieeeeee !!
but....................
..........................
..........................
we're fine now.
=PPPP !!
problem in one day
settledd it on the same day too.
ahahahx !!
we're nott meantt to fightt.
ahahahx !!
.
maaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !!
geographyy paperr was harddd !!
if i fail, don't scoldd meeee !!
pls pls plsss !!
got anotherr exammm...
piityyy me lehhx ?
ahahahx !!
muackkkk !!
.
k laa.. thinkk tht's all for noww..
buhbyeeeee !!
.

i ALMOST lostt u.

urghhhx !!

2005-05-06T19:07:00.000-07:00

heyheyy !
whoa..
it's been a loongg time since ii updatee..
ahahax !!
a WHOLE loadza things happenedd in justt a few daes.
good things ?
bad things ?
both !
okok.. let's startt..
.
todae:
wentt out of house kinda late..
reachedd the bustopp.
expected nurvena to be there..
but she wasn't.
so wentt to sch wiff julite insteadd.
.
reachedd schh,
we were fine.
forgave her((:
ahahax !!
still buddies.
teck tee gave me the exam time-table..
cos ii lostt minee.
thanx yea ?
((:
.
EXAMS BEGINS NOW !!
firstt subjectt,
Mt.
Mt paperr was ..
easy + hardd.
dunno .. cannott b too confidentt..=X
wentt for recess,
STUDIEDD for the nextt paperr.
askedd nurvena whetherr she's done wiff the model..
and guess wadd ??
SHE DIDN'T DO A THING !!
damn !! ii was pissedd off.
but she toldd me she's gonna do it rightt aft sch,
so ii still got faith in her.
.
paper 2 was.. ermmm.. pretty...
ooookk....
ahahax !
.
aftt sch,
he waitedd for me((:
toldd him i hafta do the projectt work thingy,
but he insisted to follow.
simplyy sweeett of him((:
realliee.
.
wentt to lot 1,
wif the restt.
thoughtt they're doing the projectt model..
so followedd them..
but NO !!
i was soooo wrongg !!
reachedd there.
they're having funnnn..
can still walkwalk.
laughlaugh.
all.
gott pissedd off.
told them we gott VERY LITTLE time to finish it if they continue to have funn/
be seriouss for ONCE la !!
but theyy calledd me kepo somemore..
HELLOW ??
in case u haven't notice,
i'm tryingg to helpp u guys doing the model
wen it's obviously nott my jobb !!
i've done mine.
to do the powerpointt.
gott my left eye SWOLLEN justt doing tht powerpoint work overnite.
u guys don't even thank me !!
u justt end up shouting at me.
GAWD !!
was cooledd down by him.
thankk god he's there..
if nott i should have cried, letting all my angerr outt.
but insteadd i lett it outt on him..
so sorrieee !!
=XXXX
.
around 1 plus,
i gave up.
leftt them..
wentt back to sch..
reachedd there..
was rainingg like HELL !!
couldn't even run thereee..
so wentt to westmall.
walkedd around
and wentt back to sch at exactly 2.53pm
ii reachedd there in TIME ok ??
damn u ppl.
no responsibilityy issittt ??
scoldedd nurvena.
she was madd.
i have the ritee to get madd !!
cos i'M the ONLY one who's seriouss in all dis.
i was the one who HELPED them delayy the time presentation
until todaee.
and u stiill wanna delayy ?!!
nurvena, fitri, asri, brandon.
all cos of U GUYS,
my effortt is all wastedd.
Thanx arhh..

NOT !

k la k la. gotta go now..

darling,

thanx for cheering me upp.

sorriee u hafta waste all ur coins.

taking one bus and anotherr.

u shoudldn't have come along

))=

nurvena,

wadd happen to u man ??

ii trustedd u.

i put u in charge of the whole model thingy.

butt u didn't take it seriously.

delayy somemore arhx.

now everythingg GONE !

don't gett mad at me.

cos it's ur FAULT !!

and the restt too.

haiixx.

ii justt feel like cryingg.

2005-05-02T08:53:00.000-07:00

sis, Nurul fairuz.

tml is my sis's 17th burfdae.. sooooo..

HAPPIEEE BURFDAEEEE !!

hope u lurveeee myy giftttt. xpensive kk ?? ahahx !! jk jk.

nyways, loveee u loadx !! MUACKKK !! =)))

tml is ALSO felicia's burfdaee... ritee ritee riiteee ??

eheheee.. HAPPIEE BURFDAEE to u also yea ?

for the two burfdae gurls, wishh u all the bestt yea ?

k.. it's gettingg late now.. TATA !

2005-05-01T21:53:00.000-07:00

i realised i'm like last time again..

waiting..

waiting for..

happiness to come my way.

pretending everything's fine..

wen obviously i'm not.

smiling like as if i'm the HAPPIEST gurl in

the universe.

wen inside i'm crying.

got his frens coming up to me..

asking me the same qs. over and over again.

y did u guys break up?

Y dowan to patch back?

U ok annott??

and thttt crappy gurl telling me

all dis stuff about him..

all dis SUX!

and I hate it!

U guys knew we broke up...

y did u guys still wanna ask me aboutt it?!

Isnt it OBVIOUS enough??

i'm not fine..

i'm nott..

so PLS,

i begg u ppl to stop asking me again.

pls pls pls

happiee anniversaryy !

2005-04-29T15:43:00.000-07:00

heyhey !
yesterdaee was my and sweetie's anniversaryy dae.
yesh. yeshh.
but sadness, he didn't come to schh yesterdaee...
haiiixxxx..
.
todae,
wentt to schh early.
didn't waitt for julitee..
sorrieee !!
eheheee..
.
firstt period,
engliish.
worksheets. tests. write write non-stopp !
arghhhh !
nvm.. exam coming.. worth all the effortt.
ehehheee..
.
maths,
anna chan camee !
arghhh !!
disasterrr..
ahahx..
triedd verii hardd to concentratee..
yesh. yeshh..
i gett some of itt.
not fully though.
haix.. haixx...
.
recess,
he cameee !!
ahahax..
saww his new haircutt..
nicee okk ??
ahahhax !
ii didn't noe him at firstt...
i was like.. "pls tell me he came.. pls tell me he came..."
den.. miracle !
i saw him there at the drinkk stall.
stylee arhh !
ahahax..
nyways,wentt to hall for assemblyy.
toopidd lower sec, cannott cooperatee..
mr lam saidd we will assemble at the basketball court again.
wahh sehhh..
guyss,, can growww up ABIT annottt ?!
cos of u dudes, WE hafta gett all sun-tanned again..
urghhh !
stupidd freaks.
.
geography.
was miss koh's lastt daee hereee..
wahhahax !!
got our testt paper backk.
i failed ?
den ii checkedd the wholee thingg..
she did A LOT of marking mistakes to my paperr can ?
got pissedd off.
toldd her she markedd the secondd page all wrongly.
den all she saidd was ....
"oh..."
stupiddd siaaa !!
reallieee !!
.
MT,
so sickk of worksheets.
haixx...
did another testt.
was not tht hardd as the previous...
yea..
den markedd the paper,
passedd.
yesh. yeshh.
.
free periodd..
arrangedd seats..
satt according to index no.
ii satt riteeeee behindd..
nearr the backk door cornerrr..
ahahax..
freshh airr.
.
passedd emmanuel his giftt since he's meeting him later..
justt freaking hope he gets it.
yeaa...
ermm,. aft schh,
satt at the canteen.
eat eatt eatttt.
was cool.
den wentt to library..
satt theree...
enjoying the air-con.. ahahx..
den usedd the comp.
yea.. so here am i now..
ahahhax...
.
.
.

i'm still hurtt.
hearingg wadd ur ..... hadd saidd to me.
ii criedd non-stopp yesterdae.
='{
sadness realliee..
.
hey nana nini nunu !!
ii noee u alrr laaa...
don'tt actt arhhx...
one littlee freakingg bitCH !
u wantt haris,
u hafta go through ME firsttt..
freakingg toott.
.

THT 2/6 guy,

i don't rememberr accepting u or anything..

y did u make it soundd like as if we're togetherr ??

haix..

told u a thousand times, and i shall sayy it again.

ii wanna be JUST frens.

thankyew veri much.

2005-04-27T19:22:00.000-07:00

i trusted u.
thoughtt u'll protect me insteadd of accusing me...
how couldd u believe wadd other ppl saidd ?!
WHY ?!
WHY ?!
WHYYY ?!!
='{{{{{
*hurtt*

NEWWWW !!

2005-04-24T21:30:00.000-07:00

heyhey !
wass so busy for three daes STRAIGHT !
.
ShoP !
ShoPP !
SHOPPPPPPPP !!!
.
eheheheee..
.
thurs,
dad reachedd singapore.
tookk me and sis outtt !
shoppingggg !!
ahahax !
dad boughtt me new nike shoes !
soo niiceeee !
orange shoes.
yesh. yesh.
ahahax !
wentt to coffee bean
was fun..
ahhahax !
ii wantt the cupp !
damnn niceee sia..
ahahax !
.
satt,
wentt shoppiingg again.
wif daddy agaiin..
gott new billabong wallettt..
damnnn niicee !
ahahax !
denn wentt to arcadee..
playedd daytona.(racing cars game)
wif sis..
won her THRICE okk ?!!
ahahax !!
=PPP
.
sundayy,
cutt my hair !
yeshh. yeshhh.
wentt outt wif mama and sis..
ahahahx !
.
MUMMMMMMM !!!
iii loveeeeee YOUUU !!!!
REALLIEEEE !!
ahahahx !
.
todae was the HAPPIEST dae of my ENTIRE LIFEE !
gott my DREAM hp !!
mama boughtt it for meee...
she was actuallyy gonna buy me tht motorola E398
dennn guess she saww i wasn't exacttly THAT happieee..
den she boughtt me Nokia 7260 instead..
aiin'tt tht AWESOME ?!!
bestttt mumm EVERRR !!
ahahax !
wass smiling from ear to ear justt now..
wahhahahx !
still can'tt believe tht phone is mine..
wahahahx !
.
nyways,
tht 2/6 guy kept on messaging me..
den aroundd 8+.. he toldd me smth..
smth ii didn't and NEVER wouldd expectt him to sayy tht..
thoughtt u like HER ?!!
godd. remindd me nott to matchmake couples EVER again !
thankyew veri much !
ahahax !
hhaaaaaiiixxxx...
didn'tt talkk to darling for the wholeeee daeee..
WHERE ARE YOU ?!!
.
miss u so muchhhhh !!
ii needd u hereee..
ii needd ur helpp..
ii needd u to comfortt me..
can u do itt ?
hhaiiixxxxx...
.
nyways, i've changedd my no.
askk me if u wantt..
okkkk ??
gtg now..
buhbyeeeeeee !!

pls. pls. pls.

2005-04-22T21:15:00.000-07:00

soo miserablyy unexpecteddlyy unbelievablyy TIREDD !!
ahahahx !!
x
todaeeeee..
x
english..
class wass normal.
hadii's grp was the LAST grpp to playy the actt.
findd the grp so funniee.
i'll tell u y...
x
Julite: Father
Hadi: Niang( step-mum)
(-.-")))
changee sex arhh ??
ahahax !
but kindaa funn arhh..
theyy broughtt theirr props alongg.
hadiii wore a DRESS !!!
evil ebby saidd hadi got *toottt*
wahaahhahahax !!
x
maths:
brandon keptt on
hitting my thigh !!
godd noe how it HURTS !!
tookk his $2.
den putt in my pockett..
so tht he can't take..
wahahahax !
moneyy still wif me.
ahahahx !!
x
recess:
was upsettt..
lookedd down alllllllllll the wayyy...
didn't even see him anywheree..
x
geog:
gott testt.
didn't studyy for itt.
hurray ?
gott our previous testt paper backk;
15/26
justt pass laaa !!
arghhhx !
x
finishedd schh earlyyy.
no mt.
=(
x
aftt schh,,
searchedd for mrs. Vincentt
tookk the fabric paintt
and finishedd my pencil case..
usedd differentt colours, wrotee
"Nadia[H]"
wahhahahax !!
overall: fwens saidd verii niceee.
eheheheeee..
i DEPEND on thiss thingg mann..
if not, i realliee fail my home ec.
haixxxxx...
x
band:
Speech dae.
aroundd 12+, wentt to plaza wif davina..
saidd she wanna buyy stockings.
so boughtt it wif herr.
=))))
reachhedd sch, bandd was still practising..
so we weren't THAT lateee..
ahahahx !
joinedd them.
Mr yiong gave justt ten minutes to change up.
wentt toilett wif shi ying and tht 2/1 flute gurl.
eheheheee..
x
changedd up. carriedd the percussion instruments to the fieldd..
thank godd i don'tt have another blisterr !
but myy previouss blister still hurts like hell !
cannott tahan !!
ahahahx !
x
aft bandd,
no needd to bringg back the percussion instruments.
wahhahahhax !!
shoo goodd.
yesh. yesh.
changedd up.
den he came along..
satt opposite me..
didn't lookk at him...
walkedd pastt him without even looking at him...
soo sorrieee !
i was disappointedd aboutt yesterdae ritee ?
sorrieeeeee laaa...
partlyy my faultt.
ii admitt itt.
so ssorrieeee !
ii lovee u..
reallieee.
i do !
ahahahhax !
wentt home..
toopidd johnston,
tookk my ez-linkk cardd.
showedd it to everyone..
embarrassingg siaaaa..
ahahahx !
k laa...
gtg now..
buhbyeeeeeee !!
x
x
x
6 more daes darliingg !!
+))))))

lonely

2005-04-19T22:17:00.000-07:00

x
9 more daes.
yesh. yesh !
ehehheee..
todae.
lessons were pretty boriing.
ahahax.
x
english :
ACTION !
ahahahx !
was super fun !
no. reallieeee.
Ebby lightt up the whole class's moods.
ahahhax !!
funniee. funniee.
x
maths :
didn't sleep todae.
ahahhax !
readd bookk wiff brandon.
sharedd the bookk under the table.
ahahahx !
teacherr thoughtt we were busyy concentrating..
ahahhax !!
toopiidd mama. (anna chan)
x
recess :
foundd some safety pins in my pockett.
ahahahx !!
den pin it up on my shirtt.
nearr my name tag corner there.
ahahahx !
den nurvena askedd me for one safety pin.
saidd she wanna join me too.
=)
den we made a safety pins club.
was so funn !!
nurvena promote.
i give out the pins.
ahahahx !
our sec 1 crazy gurls joinedd in.
my fwens joinedd in.
ahahax !
askedd him to join in.
he dowan.
faithful to his duck gang la.
ahahhax !
fine.
ahahax !
den den.
wenn i satt down,
concentrating on my foodd and drink.
fwens saidd he was sitting alone.
so i cannott just let him sitt alone rite ?
so walkedd up to him,
askedd him to join usss.
ahahahx !
muz eatt gooodd foodds hor ?
dowan u to get sickerr.
=)))
walkedd aroundd wif him aft eating..
foundd out shahril's secretttt.
yesh. yeshh.
ahahahx !
x
home ec :
toopiiddd mrs. Vincentt !
reallieeee !!
i'm getting evil.
ii noeee.
no needd to REMINDD me riteee ?!!
ARSEhole u.
everytime caughtt me and scoldedd me.
got no one else to scoldd issitt ??
feel like smacking her darn face man.
hate her more than anna chan.
arghhx !
x
mT :
did worksheets.
even doing boring worksheets in mt class
are goodd to me.
ahahax !
nvm if u don't gett it.
x
aftt sch :
EATT !!
i needd a breakk man.
reallieeee !
cannott tahan.
got projects.
got toopidd band practises non-stop !
wenn is itt gonna END ?!!
arghhhh !!
stress. stress.
nyways, ate wif hiimm.
fun larhx.
ahahhax !
x
band :
changedd to tht orange syf uniform.
withoutt blaver !
andd my clothes are awfully CRUMPLED !
i hate it.
realliee.
ahahx !
playedd my fav. song,
One moment in time.
x
ahahax !!
ii wanna playy chimesss !!
lemme playy chimes.
pls.
pls.
PLS !!
ahahahx !
den otherr otherr songs.
got lostt a lot of times.
eheheheee..

x
wentt home kinda earlyy.
butt awfully TIRED !
i gott blister !!
painfull !!
sobx ! sobx !
x
wentt home.
online.
to tht supposedly "haris",
stopp disturbingg me can ??
u win.
watever shitt.
u gott me all down.
isn't tht wadd u wantt ??
goddammitt.
now u got it.
ignore me alr !

x0x0`

never goodd enough to

impress u.

+++++++++++++++

Un-break my heart

say u love me again.

Undo this hurt u caused

When u walked out the door

and walked out of my life

uncry these tears

i cried so many nights

unbreak my heart.

++++

comfortt me pls.

=((((((((

ez-linkk cardd !!

2005-04-17T21:20:00.000-07:00

todae.
foodd fiesta.
fuunnnn !!
kinda tiringg also arh..
but i nvr do anythinggg..
tiredd of walkingg..
yesh. yesh.
ehehheeee.

okok.
wentt outta house at EXACTLY 9.
suppose to meett farah at 9.
but wentt OUT of house at 9.
eheheheeee.
saw herr..
she wasn't madd at me.
ahahahx !

reachedd there.
firstt thingg,
searchedd for himm..
ahahhax !
but didn't findd him anywhere...
so walkedd aroundd wif nurvena and fitri.
boughtt foodd and drinks using my coupons.
ahahahx !
denn afterr all the walkings,
joinedd amira's mum and sis
satt down wif the resttt.
den suddenly someone pokedd me.
turnedd around,
realisedd it was hiim..
ahahhax !
satt down beside mee.
den..
tick tock tick tock.
*siilencee*
den decidedd i wanna buyy foodd.
cos i still got LOADZA coupons !
ahahahx !
den walkedd aroundd wif him.
was fun.
ahahahahx !
fwens ignoredd me.
(-.-")
fine. finee. fineee.
den saww his hanyut actor bro.
Jailani ehk ?
lolx ! forgett alr laaa...
eehheheee.
fitri, amira, wahida, nurvena
ALL MELT !!
ahahax !
fitri saidd he's better than him.
nahhh... i don't thinkk so..
=P
ahahax !
den den..
walkedd around agaiinn..
den wentt home wif himm..
he accompanieddd me to westmall.
wentt there.
boughtt the PVA glue..
wahahhax !
den wentt home.
he sentt me backk home.
kind of la.
ahahax !
but realliee touchedd.
x)))
.
rreachedd home,
mama askedd me to gett readyy fastt.
gonna gett my new ez-linkk card..
was soo happieee !
dunno y.
ahahhax !!
den now gott my new ez-link cardd.
veriiee nice ok ??
ahahax !
no la..
at leastt better than my previous one
can alr...
ahahahx !
okok..
gotta go now..
buhbyeeeeeee !!
-----------------------

....

........

You mean more to me,

Than words can express.

It is these feelings,

I cannot suppress.

x
I miss you,

Every second we’re apart.

A picture of you,

Will be forever in my heart.

x
It was not long ago,

When we first met.

But I knew you were someone,

I would do anything to get.

x
You’re so perfect,

In every which way.

Since I first saw you,

I’ve been thinking of you every day.

x
Now every night I pray,

Hoping this was meant to be.

But there’s only one way to know...

do u reallie love me ?

i'm all out of love.

2005-04-16T15:41:00.000-07:00

message for hiim:
...
i was trying to help.
both u and him.
but guess u don't need it.
insteadd u tell me,
"don't bother."
shitt. i'm fine wif it.
ii still love u.
in case u wanna noe.
y can't u justt let me understand u ??
all i wanted to do was to make u smile,
but guess i can't do itt.
i'm wrong for u.
=((((((

message for my sis:
....
YOU !!
don't be sadd..
i noe how u feel..
i understandd.
i noe u're hurtt but
the pain will slowly fade awayy...
markk my words.
he's not worth it.
don't alwaes lockk urself in ur room.
come to me.
talk to me.
alwaes available next door.
love u !
muackkkkk !!

message for samuel:
...
sorrie. i can't do it.
u're wrong.
i'm not importantt to him.
i'm importantt to nobody.
realliee.

y is everybody so sadd nowadays ?!!
haixx...

...

....

You won't cry for my absence

i noe.

You forgot me long ago.

Am i that unimportant ?

Am i so insignificant ?

Isn't something missing ?

Isn't someone missing me ?